"mother knows best" ... hmmmm

[miserablemoralvacuum]

GAAAAH. After a lot of abuse this year from my mother about me being

(1) an embarrassment to the family when a large contract of mine got cancelled at work
(2) unpleasant and unsociable because I told her in public she was being offensive when she'd just spent haldf an hour looking like an idiot slagging off someone she doesn't even know
(3) a bad mother to my DS because I work
(4) a second child and "second children spoil everything"

and a birthday where she sent me a card using the name she used to use when I was a small child to humiliate me in front of other people - and a gift that she knows Ii am allergic to - that i stopped breathing and had to take adrenalin when I touched it while I was opening it.

She and my father have just sent me a nice Oxfam-type Christmas gift - funding for a mothers' group in Africa, called "Mother Knows Best". The greeting on the card is "We know what you think about mothers knowing best, but maybe one day you will be forced to grow up. In the meantime we hope your son appreciates you as much as you appreciate your mother."

i.e. we think you hate your mother and we hope your son hates you.

I love Christmas. It's such a special family time

What a blessing she lives on the other side of the world. I still wouldn't talk to her weekly, she can still emotionally abuse you that way...

My mother can upset me for weeks/months just by writing a few chioce words in a card so it must be affecting you on a regular basis.

Is there any way you can talk to your dad when you know she won't be there? I assume she dominates the phone calls and takes the phone after giving him a tiny amount of time to tlak to you? Thats what mine used to do anyway...

I simply cannot imagine how a mother could write such a vile thing in a Christmas card. Even if you were a horrible daughter (which I'm sure you're not).

and and for you.

There is a narcssistic parents thread in relationships which might be good for you to read. You are not alone!