Would you stay with someone who...

[bitchoftheyear]

You had no sex life with (and hadn't for a long time)?
You couldn't (and had recently confessed you could never) really talk to?
Just sees their future as one hard long slog?
Has given up on your family as they are just weirdos?
Has been telling you for 5 months that we have to split up?

And yet he still says he wants to stay: he loves me; he adores the children and wants to fully help with our disabled one (and this part is absolutely true); he can live without a sex life; he is happier living as friends/co-parents than he could ever be in any other situation. This is what he says.

I've namechanged of course. If you realise who I am please don't out me. I'm going out to do a big shop if I can stop snivelling for a while. The pressure cooker I live in is about to blow!

lol @ gret geyser of jizz

what an image that evokes!

Feeling a bit better now, and trying to disguise giggling from dh as he's sitting across the room.
Great geysers of jizz - them was the days!
And (thank god) he's not the 'guff' type, more the 'oh fuckit wheres the vodka' type.

I've made a doctor's appointment for Monday night, though it doesn't feel like depression (had an episode of depression after the birth of each child). Feels more like a final acceptance that my dreams of the children growing up and moving on and dh and I wandering off into the sunset to have yet more sex are just not going to happen.

Thanks for all your advice, certainly food for thought. Off to get a long bath and an early night (alone). Hope I'm not back in pathetic whinger mode tomorrow.

I'm going back to my proper name now before I forget.

Sounds like you are trying very hard not to say, or even to think, that you are knackered because of the needs of disabled DC. Of course you care about your child and put him/her first, as you must, but you're focussing your life so narrowly it can't be good for you, and that could well make you a less effective carer in future. It's not his/her fault, how could it be? but their needs have sucked out your mojo. You may even feel guilty for giving birth to someone who isn't "perfect". Thus you must dedicate your life to looking after them and it is wrong to accept a loving partnership to help you through it because you don't deserve one.
Maybe mixed with a sort of feeling that you are only a proper wife if you are making sacrifices for your husband, which you can't make because the DC has to have it all? So it's better that he isn't there, even if he himself says he would prefer to make sacrifices for you?

Am I completely off the wall here? Obviously I don't know anything about you other than what you've posted, but there are clues. Him going may be the best end result, but I don't think the headspace you're in at the moment is leading you to necessarily sound conclusions. Counselling can help you work through stuff like this, which you hadn't consciously thought of but which really needs to be addressed. It's not about a sex life, it's about... well, a life at all, in a sense. For all of you.

Sorry if that came over a bit rough.