MONEY AND COMMUNICATION IN COUPLE

[maeggee]

HI There
I just join and thought it would be a good idea to share my worries and suicidal thoughts with some of you who might have had similar issues ;I am thinking of divorce with 2 girls just because I have been for the last 10 years just a doormat for my husband even though he claims he loves me , he drives a very expensive car , I have to do school runs on the bus , am not working at the moment but he expects me to pay the bills feed him and the girls like I used to do when there are problems he does not want to be confrontational and avoid coming to bed until midnight he htinks time solves problems and dont care what I think if he wants something he goes and get it his money is so tight that on the 2nd of the month I cannot even ask him to buy a bulb he got no ,money left I have to feed us all month without a penny from him I have been wanting to go back to uni he makes me beleive that my 2 degrees are too old to use

You know that is what I was thinking about get back to work and feel empowered and that is what I should do but this time no bills no nothing will save my money for the car I so urgently need and do my ting , what is frustratong me it does not take time for him to get what he needs but to get some for me I can wait donkey years it will not happen;that is what making me bitter actually , I am at such a low point in my life that I feel like asking my brother to pay for our tickets the girls and I to go on holiday and get away from him to see how he manages

Well, the idea of going to stay with your brother for a holiday sounds fine - but not the actual solution.

I've got into a real victim mentality - I don't even bother to stand up for myself - just stare into space - good thing is that he doesn't kick off more but bad thing is that he feels vindicated.

I honestly think that entitlement is quite an issue in difficult relationships. I need to develop my sense of entitlement too.

You are also entitled to the following:
respect
access to the family coffers
same transport as him
free time

He needs to learn to share and do it fast. But bitterness just stops everything - try to forget that and act for the good of your dcs and yourself.

honey giveitago , that is what I had resorted to , stare into , minimum cleaning done , even my gp gave me tablets to shut me out for weeks , what did he do ?chill as ever in his leather sofa and cheered man united , they come from another planet I swear to you , do not let time make you a vegetable , try and change thihgs that you can change , that is why I am trying to get away , kids being in school does not help and I can tell you I have been doing the same staring he does not care ,I do not even know what I am entitled anymore all am trying is not to give up on myself , please do try as well

Oh I am - but I just wanted to root for you as you seemed so low (I've got one child only so a bit more headspace).

Sounds like you are now ready to make improvements in your life - that's really great.

I do try to make resolutions but every single day he says something that pisses me off , I just decided I was going to shave my hair off , he hates it , and just leave him in his ignorance , I just had a back operation and am in another country with the little one , he cant be bothered to call her as she is always asking where is daddy , he called last night at 10 pm telling me that he had a cold , he was on his deathbed but he cant talk as he had to rush to the airport 2h away from where we live to pick up his friend who is coming to visit him for a couple of days ,I HOPE THEY BOTH CATCH DEATH AND DISAPEAR INTO SPACE