Had this crush for ages now as he was dd1's teacher two years ago. Then last year did not really see him as no one in his class - this year dd2 is with him. Knowing I am going to see him if only briefly and without talking kind of "gets me through the day" - sounds pathetic I know. Have got three kids who are 3, 5 and 8 years old. Next year dd2 goes to reception. Dh and I are not really "in relationship" apart from looking after the kids and talking about them. If we were without kids I would definitely move on and without any bad feelings as I think we have run our course. Lots of things about dh annoy me including some of his behaviour. Some things are ok and he loves the kids to bits - there is no affection between us however or any fun or laughter. Just things which need to be done or that I haven't done - he is a very blaming character. I am messy and he really hates this. On Thursday had parent teacher meeting about dd2 with said teacher and both that day and the following day (teacher) was so smiley, kind and friendly plus making eye contact (which is normal in any conversation I know) and I felt so happy and warm that it made me feel really sad and angry about feeling kind of "dead" for so long. Anyway teacher is married - just a kind person who is good at making kids and adults feel good about themselves as he is accepting and kind as well as funny as well as having beautiful perceptive eyes. Not really any point in writing any of this I know as the thought of getting divorced and being away from the kids some of the time is truly terrible. I am 40 now and I suppose I know myself better and I don't want to be with someone who is often rude and dismissive (dh) for the next 30 odd years. I might never meet anyone else it is true but even on my own I could have a happier more exciting life I think. However this is not an option so how to accept things and be happy???