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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

how to satisfy him better?

50 replies

2embrased · 07/12/2009 09:29

name changed for obvious reasons.
i have been with my dh for 3 yrs, i was a virgin when i met him. he sexually satisfies me, but i don't quite know how to make sure he is satisfied? what can i do? how can i tell?

i don't want to ask him.

OP posts:

Original poster

2embrased · 07/12/2009 10:28

i did actually google how to satisfy a man, but it was rather confusing...

OP posts:

Igglybuff · 07/12/2009 10:37

Everyman is different - what works for one might not for another... Ok, what am I talking about...??

Anyway, what's made you think he's not satisfied?

Original poster

2embrased · 07/12/2009 10:40

last night..it was just a feeling i had when we were having sex, as he was doing a lot, and well i wasn't.

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Malificence · 07/12/2009 10:55

Go on to the lovehoney website, there is advice from Tracey cox and Julie Peasgood.
There are also several v.good books like Super hot sex, Sinful sex etc.

The Lovers guide dvd box set is nice and non-threatening - it's very good for some fresh ideas. Don't look at porn for inspiration, you'll never learn anything worthwhile from it.

Amazon has a guide to fellatio book that looks quite informative - all a man really wants ( assuming no major kinks) is for you to be enthusiastic and to enjoy yourself.

Variety is the key imho - ivillage has a good sexual positions page - with a bit of effort, you can go from satisfying sex to mind blowing sex.

My tip for making a man feel extra good and a bit "porn starry" ( bear in mind that I've only got my husband of 25 years to go on here) is to have him stand up in front of you while you do whatever it is he really likes - little things like that make all the difference.

Malificence · 07/12/2009 11:00

The best way of becoming more "interactive" is to be on top of him imho.

Igglybuff · 07/12/2009 11:03

Is it always like that during sex? Were you tired? Does he ever talk about things he'd like?

crankytwanky · 07/12/2009 11:06

Lol! I just popped back in to say ask malificence! She knows her sexy onions!

No no no to texting him! You can't expect to have any level of intamacy if you can't speak to him!

Fncy a blw jb? :-0 I lve u qt.

Not sexy, is it?

nikki1978 · 07/12/2009 11:11

A good way is to take charge of sex sometimes. So initiate it then be the dominant one in the situation (I don't mean tie him up and beat him btw!). Maybe start with an all over body massage then move onto kissing then a blow job or hand job if yopu prefer. When you are both turned on then you go on top. And try a few different things when you are up there (maybe reverse cowgirl when you are on top and facing away or squatting - they love that one although it kills the thighs!). Don't worry about looking perfect or doing everything exactly right - it is more of a turn on if you are having fun and enjoying yourself.

Definitely read up on blow jobs though. If you are good at that you don't need much else

Igglybuff · 07/12/2009 11:15

nikki how true re blow jobs

Original poster

2embrased · 07/12/2009 11:37

i was sleepy, but i always am. i have 2 under 2.

thank you for the tips.

OP posts:

DawnAS · 07/12/2009 11:47

2embrased, I don't normally post on these threads, although I do have a good read and often pick up some tips!!

But I had to just post to say, you deserve a medal if you are coping with 2 children under 2 and still wanting to try and satisfy your guy more!! Well done you!! I am sure that he's more than grateful getting it at all considering how knackered you must be, I only wish I had your energy!!

Several bucket loads of praise heading your way!!!

xxx

crankytwanky · 07/12/2009 11:58

Well said, dawn. nikki how true re reverse cowgirl!

idontliketoshare · 07/12/2009 12:33

Reverse cowgirl good for hitting the g-spot, though!

You should definitely talk to your DH. One of the reasons my ex-H and I split up is that he was not enthusiatic about sex and refused to talk about it, and I was extremely dissatisfied, so we eventually stopped doing it, and all our intimacy disappeared over time.

The fact that you want to try and satify your DH and are willing to try new things will be a massive turn-on for him, and he will probably be really happy to share his fantasies with you.

I also echo the advice to improve your BJ technique. If you are competent at this and fairly enthusiastic, most men will be worshipping at your feet. I speak from very recent experience of first time with my NM and boy was he singing my praises aftrewards, and very happy to reciprocate. And it is not hard to pick up some neat tips. Ann Summers have a good range of guides.

higgle · 07/12/2009 12:52

I would suggest - to encourage conversation-cook something he likes, have nice bottle of wine and then watch something tasteful but with a bit of raunchy sex thrown in - either DVD or - even better - something that just happens to be on telly anyway. Then you can just lead the conversation to what was a turn on in the film, and ask him what he reall really likes. You can sit in the dark or semi dark to do this and the conversation should flow.

From my point of view ( 25 years marriage preceded by a very adventurous mis spent youth) being good at blow jobs, appreciative of your DH and varying positions ( another recommendation for cow girl from me) should get you lots of appreciation. But talking is the main thing..

TheUsefulSuspect · 07/12/2009 13:03

My advice

Blowjobs, Doggie Style, Cowgirl, reverse cowgirl.

Be enthusiastic, do you ever initiate?

Why not pounce on him as soon as the kids are in bed? or get in when he is having a shower?

Men are simple creatures deep down.

Don't be afraid to act like a W*e in the bedroom.

Remember that other holes are good for mixing things up

Original poster

2embrased · 07/12/2009 13:29

oh my god! @ other holes...!
i don't know what cow girl, i shall goggle that! thank you guys...

i do initiate it, and then realise im too sleepy to do anything more, lol.

OP posts:

Original poster

2embrased · 07/12/2009 13:31

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i know what it is now. you need energy for that.

OP posts:

Original poster

2embrased · 07/12/2009 13:35

going to make chinese tomorrow and will discuss it over dinner, if the kids behave! thank you all so much.

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hobbgoblin · 08/12/2009 01:21

I'm sorry.

I really was convinced you were trolling.

Sorry again.

dejavuaswell · 08/12/2009 07:51

I really don't want to labour the point but as hobbgoblin has used the dreaded t word I will. So there

Early use of the t word sometimes kills a thread stone dead. If the OP is mature enough or determined enough they might carry on posting and the result is quite an interesting thread. As happened here.

But there might easily be somebody who does need help but who doesn't come back because of the troll hunters. And that is the issue.

Here endeth the lesson!

ginnybag · 08/12/2009 15:59

If you want an easy one... try something as changing the venue and the time...

Last thing at night, in bed, in the same position, will get boring even if he does enjoy himself (and unless you're using condoms) it should be fairly obvious if he does...

Agree, talk to him, but something as simple as the shower or the sofa can be enough to spice things up a little.

Maleeka · 08/12/2009 20:29

Is there anyone who can have the kids for you overnight, so you can really let yourself go and have a nice lie in the next morning?

Agree about change of venue, bed sex is gonna get a bit samey, try the sofa, stairs, shower! Oh the 3 s's

Toys are fun too , i only just discovered the fun that a platinum bunny can do and my god, i'm single handedly carrying duracell . Its fun on my own and fun with both of us too!

Lifegoeson · 09/12/2009 00:00

Too true Rivennn, as if they'd be dicking about on here!

As was proved Hobbgoblin, big yaself us for apologising and 2 for accepting. Peace out.

Lifegoeson · 09/12/2009 00:07

Riven obviously! I wasn't on a 80's repeat!

Original poster

2embrased · 13/12/2009 15:47

we spoke about it last night, and things were ok. he mentioned that he hasn't had me initiate it for over 2 years, i re-call different, but understand with 2 babies i am very tired and have little energy when we do get time alone.

so im going to try make more of an effort, as i love him so much.

thank you all

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