She wants me to go with her.........

[HuddersfieldHottie]

My mum has a guy on the internet she chats to from the former Yugoslavia - Albania. They are totally obsessed with each other and it really gets to me sometimes that she puts him before her own daughter, and is also risking my safety because she's trying to get a visa for him to come stay in our house for 6 months!

She is going to his homeland in Sept to meet this bloke and is constantly mithering me to go too. She is almost worn me down, but it is a stupid idea? I think its insane. I have 2 dogs that I would need to be put in care of a relative while we would be gone and this same relative would be lied to about where we had gone because she'd have a canary if she knew the truth. Would u go or stay put?

Im not having a go at you but on re-reading i cant see what you problem is. You're 21 - an adult, why shouldnt she put herself first and find a man? She can do whatever she likes. Stop reading her email and texts and get on with your own life.

Ok- I was wrong for reading her email and texts but I'm worried about her going.

Hannah, sorry if this has been asked before but is there any particular reason why you still live with her?

I have lived away for most of my adult life because of the nature of my job and got paid accomodation in with all my jobs, but I have just been made redundant in Jan and since then work has just tried up, although I have tried very hard to find some. So I have to live with her, because I couldnt afford rent otherwise.

Do you have children ou Hannah? Does your mum expect you to take them you also?

I understand you wanting to go to keep your mum safe, but at the same time if you are a parent yourself you need to put your children first (as i'd assume they're under 21yrs ).

Tell your mum you will not go because you don't feel it safe, especially for your children. you don't want her to go either because you worry about her safety, but she's a grown adult and responsible for herself.

She shouldn't be putting you first at 21 and if she wants to go abroad to meet a man then she can. You can simply express your concern for her.

If i were you i'd move out and get a job asap!