Almost a year on -

[shoptilidrop]

Probably the time of year i should think, but its coming up for a year since i kicked ex dh out. Its most def a year since i found his secret email account with the pictures on ( but i cant rememeber the date).

Its been a shit year -it really has. There have been some good times, and things are picking up. But today for some reason i just feel a little bit sad. Not for him, not for the loss of the marriage. I dont know why. Putting up tree and making christmas food. DD having an excellent time and i just feel a little bit like crying.

I know ive done well, i moved to a new area, im slowly making friends, i had one job, lost it and have just got another to start in the new year. Ive lost 3 stone in weight ( still got 2 to go) ive had my gall bladder out. Lost of things happened this year and i cant quite believe its amost decemeber.

Ive got plans for christmas day and boxing day. Ive got a christmas do to go to. I just feel a little bit like im faking it. I dont know why. I know there are lots of people in a far worst position than me right now. So i shouldnt feel like this ( im sure ill be ok in a bit) but i just needed to post this somewhere where someone might understand. ( also stuck it in relationships )

well you've done really well!! all you need to do now is build on it....

this time of year we all feel a little wistfull for one reason or another...

oh,forgot to say.....i'm 5 years down the line now.....it gets easier

I admire your bravery and strength, you've been through an awful lot to pave the way for a better life not only for yourself but for your DD.

I think you're still grieving for the loss of your marriage regardless of how/why it ended, but as ILoveTiffany said it will get easier.

I'm on the start of my journey since asking my H to leave 2 months ago. I'm excited, scared senseless, deliorously happy and very apprehensive as to what 2010 will deliver to my DD and I.

Try and smile and good luck to you and your DD for the future

It's natural to feel a sense of loss at this time of year - that your family isn't 'complete'. Can't really offer any advice, other than don't set your expectations too high - do it for the kids' pleasure, and pleasure is sure to come your way. The others are right, you have achieved a lot this year, so build on that, set yourself some goals for next year, and don't worry about feeling a fake - we all feel like that at times!! Good luck and Merry Christmas. Oh, and if the feeling continues, think about bobbing along to Relatae - they are reallyexcellent for building your confidence I've heard.

BTW My husband has just left me for the SIXTH? time in 9 months and I really feel for you - at least you haven't been a mug like me who believed the whole romantic dream when the reality is far from rosy. However, onwards and upwards and all that shite...

I also admire your bravery and strength. I have lurked here for ages but only posted for a short time. It certainly does help to share a problem with the people on Mumsnet although you might hear some pretty extreme views being expressed.

I know just how you feel. My ex left us just over a year ago. i have got a good job, started to make friends - we moved just before he left, have put the house up for sale to buy another where I want to live. But I am pretty lonely and also feel that I am just putting a brave face on it most of the time, there is nothing else to do but just keep going and maybe things will pick up

Hi shop, I remember you

It is natural to feel sad about what might have been at this time of year. For some reason, it brings out the maudlin in us all

You should give yourself a hefty pat on the back for how far you have come.

It is OK to "fake it", just keep on "faking it" until it is real. But by then you won't even realise the new you is coming easily.

Just make sure you do not let yourself get so low, that you start to feel he could almost become an attractive prospect again....