feel so humiliated, need to get it off my chest

[NovaLuna]

I have spent the last year cultivating new friends as feel very lonely. Joined the PTA and spent hours helping out.

Found that no one actually comes up to talk to me unless I put all the effort in and talk to them, have had some back to my house for coffee/ lunch,etc but it is never reciprocated.

I am ignored if other people in the more established group are together, I really don't think they realise how upsetting it is for me because they'll joke and make little comments to each other but it's never directed towards me ifswim.

I finally realise I'm being used and am not really 'part of the group' at all. But I do not know how I can carry on with the PTA, these so called friends are anything but.

What do I do now as it's a small school? There are other lovely mums I am friends with but they are not on the PTA and I feel a conflict of interest now as I want to help on the PTA as the school is desperately short of volunteers but this group have stunned me at how insensitively they behave towards me, and I am normally a cheerful, helpful person!

Aw I am pleased for you NovaLuna

dejavuagain: Gone With The Wind.
10 points, please.

Or a mince pie.

Bloody hell you sound paranoid - maybe you just aren't their cup of tea for christ sakes!

You sound like a 7 year old coming home moaning that the gang of popular girls don't want her in their group - get over it, get some new friends or be a better friend to your old friends and accept that maybe you aren't going to be the centre of attention and maybe they actually don't think, ooohh lets give you the worst job or not make you the centre of the conversation, maybe they are just going along like they have for the time you haven't been there because they are busy and have plenty of friends and can't be bothered with an oversensitive mother who is using the PTA to make new friends.

Not a particularly helpful or supportive comments from MC - bad day?

Not at all - I just think that if someone tried to befriend me at this time in my life I wouldn't take the bait as I have a busy hectic life and I think it is stupid and niave to expect that people would want to be your friend because your kids go to the same school and you have made a bit of an effort.

Madame - too harsh. Its not stupid to hope that by joining a group of mums you might make friends - if that were the case there would be no bumps and bundles, no toddler groups, no pta and actually no mumsnet.

It stands to reason that school would be a natural source of shared experiences so I think that that comment was a bit unfair. You are right in saying that some people might be a bit too busy too have time for new friends but courtesy would dictate at least some manners were shown. These women are being cliquey and ignorant and there is no need for it.

Still think it was not a particularly helpful or supportive comments from MC.

Prettyfly1 has explained why rather well.