I have had enough of XP. I wish he would just go away.

[TiredOfXP]

OK. looong story so I will just give you quick insight into the past.

XP was abusive and violent to me for many years and we left him and pressed charges when he hurt my son. Nothing came out of this except XP was put on probation and ordered to do an IDAP course.

Since this XP has assaulted me once, which I didn't report because 1, I didn't want DSs dad to be a convict and 2, I didn't want the hassle and heartache of waiting for the courts etc. We made an agreement that I wouldn't report him but if he did it again I would report both assaults.

I haven't let him have any unsupervised access with DS because I am unsure what he is capable of if he was alone with him, I feel as though he is at risk so he stays with me if he sees him. (ds that is).

I have been seeing my lovely DP for a few months now and XP doesn't like that one bit. He has tried to tell me that I should leave him and when I have refused to he is just trying to make a divide between us.
He has emailed DP telling him that soon he will be DSs 'daddy' luckily DP can see right through his pitiful attemps at breaking us up.

A couple of weeks ago I had taken XP and DS out for the day and we ended up having an arguement, yet again because he wouldn't let drop about me and DP, He ended up screaming right in my face, so much i had to push him off and hurt my hand in doing so. It upset DS so much he was crying and XP didn't even care.

So I have refused to see him since then. I have had over a year of this and I don't want to do it any more. XP is arguing that it is because I have DP now, and to some extent he is probably right, but only because I won't take as much from him these days because I have more respect for myself.

So now XP has stopped giving me money for DS, leaving us 80 a month shorter when we were already struggling anyway, and just before christmas too.

AIBU to not do this any more? I just want XP to disappear, all he does is cause hurt. He never plays with DS or even smiles at DS when he is with us, he just uses it to snipe at me and make nasty/disgusting/crude/disrespectful comments and get on my back about DP, who is the first guy I have ever dated who truely cares for and respects me.

I am afraid that is he pushes too much more DP will have enough and leave me

Make a claim with the CSA for money and have nothing more to do with your xp, go to the CAB/solicitor to arrange proper supervised contact

You should have reported the assault no question about it, you should have reported it for the sake of your child

I know, and I wish I had.

Now he is going onto other peoples facebooks (mutual friends) and is slagging me off, telling them all I am manipulative and a liar.

I did have him blocked but unblocked him after someone told me about this.

I find is so embarrasing. I wish there was something I could do to make him just stop it all and leave us alone.
He is just trying to make my life hell

You cant stop him spreading lies, and he is doing it to get a reaction out of you, delete your FB and private message your friend to tell them why, if he knows you are not using FB he will not use it to try and 'get' to you, his efforts will be meaningless iykwim? if your mutual friends cannot see through him then they are a bit dim

Best thing to do is ignore him, have no more to do with him, tell him he can contact you through a solicitor and carry on with your life, dont give him the satisfaction of letting him think this is affecting you

He will continue to make your life hell as long as he thinks it is working iykwim, dont let this affect you, just ignore, ignore, IGNORE

unless he becomes violent, then contact the police straight away

Do not have contact with this man whatsoever.

No email, no facebook, nothing. Make sure all contact is through a 3rd party.

I agree with TerryWogan - he will continue to do it if he sees that it is having an effect on you.

And get the CSA onto him. Then you don't have to deal with him 'privately' re maintenance.

My fear is he will just get worse, since I have been hanging up/terminating the conversation when he talks to me like crap or argues with me, he has just been more pro-active in trying to let people 'know' what a bitch I am.

I don't want to delete my facebook, I use it a lot, I might delete our mutual friends though... (I am hidden so he can't just find me) so he will think i have deleted it.

He wont get worse he will get bored, he is like a child trying to get your attention, if he knows he is getting it he will get worse

Have you blocked him on FB? obviously not, as if he was blocked you wouldnt see his meassges to your mutual friends, go to setting and block him by typing in his FB name, then messgae your mutual friends and tell them you are leaving FB (they wont know that you have not let once you delte them) because he is harrassing you

Just keep blocking every avenue for him to get to you, if he emails, change your emil, if he texts, change your number, he will soon get fed up

You need to keep cutting him dead, unless you like the attention that is, but i am sure you dont

IK, if you don't want to get rid of FB you could block him.

Don't engage in conversations with him. Just hang up. If he keeps calling back ignore him. You don't have to speak to him. And your real friends will know him for what he is.

You can't stop him badmouthing you, men like that are just arseholes. All you can do is ignore it and hold your head up. If you 'give in' to him to stop him doing it (you won't stop him, I can guarantee that) then he'll use it as an opportunity to try and control you again.

I do feel for you very much as men like this are vile.

I had blocked him but unblocked him when I was told about hm saying things to me. I have even tried changing my FB name to a fake one so he wouldn't have any clue it was me, but it caused too much coinfusion with my friends and I changed it back. I have blocked him now, I did it last night following him telling everyone on a status I had commented on that I was a liar and was manipulative.

I am going to put him on the block list on my phone and tell him to contact my parents if he needs anything.

stop taking XP out. he clearly thinks you are still some kind of item. and that eh is entitled to say what he likes. your child sees him with a third party present. not you. why do you put yourself thru that?

"I didn't want DSs dad to be a convict" well if he assaults you he deserves to get a criminal record. it is his fault not yours. his ds deserves to know what kind of man his father is....he may need protecting later when he 18. pretending he a nice man if he isnt wont help in the long term.

If you want to keep your Facebook account, as you are right to do so, put a simple status update on saying something like

"It has come to my attention that I am being called various names by certain people on this website amd probably offline too, I will not be dragged into a slanging match, those who are my friends know what type of person I am, if you believe what has been said about me, please delete me from your contact list, I will make no further comment regarding this"

Then call the CSA
Block his number
Block his email address

Write to him saying that due to his actions currently and in the past you no longer wish to have contact with him, if he has a message for you please write to you or pass a message via your parents, he is not welcome at your home and if he does not stop harassing you, then you will look to get an injunction.