SEX!!!!!????

[mummc2]

I know theres probably a few on here will understand if i say i have no sex drive anymore but how do you cope, ive totally gone off it and wow my hubby has obviously noticed and getting pretty fed up of it. He is fairly understanding but now im at point where just do it to please him and he says i may as well be a manequin for how much i look like im involved!!!!

Any ideas to perk up sex drive

Hi mummc2

Yes this is very common and I think a lot of us on here understand.

How bout some toys, porn, role play,reading a sex book together is good can get you talking bout what you like and dont like etc. Imagine its the first time you've made love to him is another good one.

These are all good suggestions but you really need to get to the bottom of why you have no sex drive ie too tried, depression, anything that could be putting a dampener on things.

I have gone off sex quite a lot in the past because I suffer from depression but it is all about making the effort to reconnect with each other. My husband and I recently had a nite out by ourselves (ie without kids) and it was so nice it reminded me of why I fell in love with him in the first place.

Hope you get sorted. X

relate do a sex councelling thing you should consider
you should also consider going to your gp and asking for a check up to make sure whether or not this is a phychological ( councelling) or physiological ( pills) thing.

sex is supposed to be enjoyable and fun - so go get your joy and fun

Depends on why you're not interested tbh.

If it's because it's gotten boring, then change the routine - dress up, go away for the weekend etc. This is a relatively easy fix. Be honest with your DH (and emphasise that it's nothing he's doing wrong) and see what happens next. You might try a good bottle of wine for an answer here... sometimes, removing inhibitions we don't know we have lets things become more fun, which makes us more interested in them otherwise, etc.

If it's because you don't enjoy it, ask yourself why? Physical discomfort can be fixed, after all. Emotional issues are more complex and you need to tackle those before the issue spreads.

Maybe point out to your husband that complaining to you isn't going to help you want to have sex with him.

i do agree about the tired and depression things and also although he may be patient that too can wear a bit thin.
iwould suggest some cuddles only for the time being and then move on to gentle carresing of each other and then only make love when it feels natural. and most important of all keep talking maybe a little reminicing and try to learn to laugh with each other again. just try and create time together that doesn't involve family issues and/or children.
i do hope this helps.

i do agree about the tired and depression things and also although he may be patient that too can wear a bit thin.
iwould suggest some cuddles only for the time being and then move on to gentle carresing of each other and then only make love when it feels natural. and most important of all keep talking maybe a little reminicing and try to learn to laugh with each other again. just try and create time together that doesn't involve family issues and/or children.
i do hope this helps.

thanks everyone for your input i didnt really explain fully why? i do think its more the reason of physcological things rather than sex play as we had a pretty damn gud sex life last year. I had quite a few problems physically which i think cause me to shut off when things get to a certain point sexually like with fissures in my bum which are like little tears (problems with IBS) and i had an abortion it was extremely complicated (so please no judgement)but sex now makes me scared of getting pregnant again and have to go through that again. To add to all this i had a breast reduction early this year and best thing i ever did but with the scars and things i really have no confidence at all in my body.

Do you think it really would help to talk to someone about these and my feelings someone who can help like professional???

Yes you should definitely talk to someone. I think that will really help. It sounds like most of your issues are psychological, but will not be too difficult to overcome with the right support.

Yes: it sounds like you would benefit from some kind of counselling or therapy about self-esteem and body issues - ask your GP for a referral.
I did clikc on this thread wondering if it was the usual problem of a man expecting his wife to do everything round the house and then suck his dick as well - does your H do his fair share of the domestic work? Also, is he generally nice to you - kind, encouraging, good company etc? A man who is constantly pestering for sex is unattracitve anyway, a man who is doing nothing in the way of being nice or fair and still pestering for sex is profoundly unattractive.