Should I stay or should I go

[WobblyPig]

I married my husband knowing that I didn't love him in the way you see in films or books. But we got on well and enjoyed life together and we wanted the same things in life. 4 years later we have 2 children and things are falling apart. I am not sure whether or not we didn't love each other enough in the beginning so that when the stress of money issues and caring for the kids kicks in we haven't got enough to see us through IYKWIM.
Life seems to me one long stretch of unreqarding chores ; I feel fat and middle-aged DD 6 months and haven't got back to normal yet ; but most of all we seem to be pulling in different directions.
He wants to move to Kent/Surrey in order to keep working in Croydon where he has set up a business; I want to move to North London for better state education and to be near my work. We have come to an impass and splitting up seems the only option.

Not sure if I should up and leave and do what I think is best for me and the kids or I should battle it out hoping that some way we can work out a plan together. I feel sorry for the kids most of all.

Any advice?

It does seem somewhat OTT to split up based on what you say here. Is there somewhere you could live roughly half way between your 2 chosen locations?

How would you feel if he said to you he wanted to split?

BTW the movies are not real life.

DH and I have been totally in love but we have had some huge problems and close shaves but we have talked and worked things through. Partly because the alternative is too awful and because we love each other.

Talk to him.

Can you compromise and move to the middle of where you both want to live?

You say you have a 6 month old so you are still adapting to a new new baby and your family increasing. How old is your other child?

Not really Deja. He wont move nearer to where I want to be and I can't sort out childcare where he wants to live or indeed get to my work.
I have suggested that he rents a flat near his work but he sees that a splitting up the family anyway.

My other child is 3.1 and a handful.
There are a lot of stresses but it occurs to me that if I can contemplate splitting up as a serious option that there really is no love there.

I have to disagree but you have to find your own way.

Talk to him.