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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

question for you

23 replies

pleaserewind · 23/06/2005 21:34

does your husband or partner go out of the house without telling you he's going and does he go to bed without saying goodnight?

sorry, you probably think i'm barking

OP posts:
mummycan · 23/06/2005 21:35

No

charleepeters · 23/06/2005 21:35

no

oatcake · 23/06/2005 21:35

no, and no I don't think you're barking.

does this happen to you??????

MistressMary · 23/06/2005 21:36

Funnily enough that sounds just like my Dad with Mums relationship.
My other half does say if he goes out and say "I'm off to bed now."

pleaserewind · 23/06/2005 21:37

yup
not all the time but moody is his middle name!

OP posts:
starlover · 23/06/2005 21:52

he doesn't often go out without telling me. but i wouldn't mind if he did i don't think

we hardly ever say goodnight to each other!!!

stitch · 23/06/2005 21:53

yes, and drives me bonkers

Magscat · 23/06/2005 21:55

No, never. But my best mate's dh does it all the time. She has learnt to accept that it's just his way and it doesn't mean there's a problem. He regularly goes through 'non communication' phases but ten they have really good talks in between

Nightynight · 23/06/2005 23:29

Yes, no and no.

assumedname · 23/06/2005 23:30

No, never.

moondog · 23/06/2005 23:31

No.If he did,I would find it most odd.

jennifersofia · 23/06/2005 23:32

Nope.

serenity · 23/06/2005 23:35

No he doesn't leave the house without saying where he's going (unless it's to take the bins out!) and he'll say goodnight if we go to bed at different times. I'd be pretty p'ed off if he did - I wouldn't do it to him. Neither of us would make arrangements to go out without checking with the other first anyway.

I don't think you are barking btw!

lou33 · 23/06/2005 23:57

sometimes if he is in a mood, but not on the whole

QueenOfQuotes · 23/06/2005 23:58

no - unless we've had a row and I'm refusing to b*gger off and leave him alone

no - always says goodnight and gives me a kiss

kama · 23/06/2005 23:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Pixiefish · 24/06/2005 00:15

no

fatmomma · 24/06/2005 00:22

No, very rarely, and no I don't think you are barking!

DH is very even tempered so if he left the house without telling me I would be very very worried.

If he is a bit moody perhaps he just does it to avoid confrontation??

redsky · 24/06/2005 01:00

yes - and he can't understand that I have a problem with it. I've tried doing the same to him but he never notices that I've been out and thinks it quite normal to go to bed without saying goodnight. Ds was definitely on the autistic spectrum as a child but seems to have 'outgrown' most of his oddities but I strongly suspect dh has similar difficulties - I've mostly learned to tolerate his 'quirks' over the 24 years we have been married.

fairyfly · 24/06/2005 01:03

i think people should have the freedom to do that, we are all humans, sometimes i want to walk away with no explanation, i rarely do, but when i do i feel guilty, a bit like a husband, we are all free spirits, let them be happy

tigermoth · 24/06/2005 07:24

....let them be happy If he's had a pig of a day I don't expect a goodnight. Sometimes dh just needs to chill by himself, and it's best to leave him totally alone.

For practical reasons, I like to know if he's going out, but as he carries mobile he's contactable anyway.

fostermum · 24/06/2005 07:26

always!

ninah · 24/06/2005 09:50

If we've had a row. He is much more prone to this than I am, I can't help feeling it is rude and I just can't bring myself to
He stays out without having said, or a 'couple of hours' turns into closing time which I find v irritating
He is not lovey-dovey but we do love each other

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