Letter to Exp, will this do?

[SolosScrapingUpForXmas]

I don't know what to write really, but he has omitted payments for several months and I'm loathed to go down the CSA route, but on the other hand, I'm more than £500 overdrawn just paying out the basics.
Will this wording do MNetters? or should I tell him what I really think and feel?

I feel utterly depressed by what he put me through and whilst I know it's more than a year ago since I caught him with OW, it feels raw and open and I think about him constantly .

Dear Solo's exp,

I hope you are well.

I am writing because you seem to have missed several maintenance payments for your Dd and to be frank, I'm completely in the shit.

Every time I start to think and feel a little better about things/myself/you, you seem to pull the rug from under my feet which then takes me back to feeling utterly depressed and angry about everything you have put me through.

I hope that these several omissions of payments are simply a mistake on the part of your bank and not another deliberate stab on your part, but either way, please put this right as I am unable to make any withdrawals from my bank.

Sincerely

Frankly, I think you are being extremely kind and diplomatic.

I am in the same situation, apart from my ex delaying and delaying starting payments.

I decided to go down the csa route as I realised, no matter what was coming from his mouth , and how much things were promised...it really wasn't concrete and we could be let down.

You sound lovely, and I was too, until I realised that these things affect everyday life for his children, and I wasn't willing to do it anymore.

Quit being nice- go medieval on his ass

Your letter is too emotive. Keep it simple and factual, sayign he has missed payments and you expect them within 14 days. Keep a copy, and while you're waiting get the ball rolling with the CSA. Ultimately, no matter how shit the situation, don't let him see that he's got to you.

I would go down the CSA route and not send this letter to him.

The letter makes you sound very weak which is probably what he wants you to be in his eyes. This is all about power and control, take some power back.

Gosh-I´d just put "you have missed several of your childs payments-please sort it out"

If it doesn´t get sorted I´d go the CSA route.

I'd keep it extremely curt. Nothing about feelings. As soon as you mention feelings, he thinks, "She's wet, I've got ages yet to pay this." Think like a man. Write a letter like a man would write a letter. E.G.:

Dear Ex,

I'm writing to remind you that you currently owe me X months' maintenance payments @ £XXX per month. Total: £XXXX

If I don't receive this outstanding money in full by December 15 2009 as cleared funds direcly into my bank account, I will begin legal proceedings to reclaim this amount in full.

Yours sincerely,

Solo

My bank details: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

BOF, I'd cheerfully chop his head off. I'm really steaming with rage, but it's not really rage about the money(although I'm sure that isn't helping), it's rage about the 4 wasted years and the past year that I cannot get out of my system. It's completely draining me.

So, should I send the email to him and go through the CSA anyway? I mean, my benefits are reduced because he is(supposedly)giving me money. Or do I wait and see if he pays up first?
The last time he did this, it was to punish me for not taking Dd to see him and I went to see him with Dd for the afternoon and I got him to pay up ~ eventually.

Don't wait. Call the CSA tomorrow becaus ethey will spend ages faffing around before they get any money anyway

Oooh! sorry, lots of replies since beginning to type.

And DO inform income support that he hasn't paid, as they will chase it up as well, and if you send your bank statements to them they will (I assume) pay you the shortfall if you can prove you've not had the maintenance. It's so bloody stressful isn't it? I dread my ex doing hte same and being left in the lurch

I can't think like a man. I can't think like an arsehole I suppose. God, this is such a mess.

badie, you think that they are not going to be twattish about these things, but they always seem to prove you wrong.

Ds's father has never paid a penny and he's 11.

I always deal with my ex the way I would with a lawyer short, factual letters or texts, no emotion comes into it. And now I am not arsed one bit what he gets up to. He stopped paying is £15 a week in August when the shop he was workign at shut. According to the job centre, he's not signed on so I can only assume he is working cash in hand. He'll get his, in time. Karma's a bitch

Don't send the e-mail, it really is far too emotive.

Just e-mail saying

Dear Twat,

you have missed X payments. Please make sure that they are in my bank account in 7 days.

Solo

And then contact the CSA anyway and then he can't just keep stopping the payment whenever he thinks you aren't doing are you're told.

at DS's father! Have the CSA tried to get money out of him?

What about this then?

Dear Solo's exp

I hope you are well.

I am writing because you have missed several maintenance payments for your Dd. This could of course be the fault of your bank, but either way, please put this right. If you go through your bank statements for this year so far, you will see that you have paid me short from after the point you paid the £600 into my account in the summer.

Sincerely

No no no. NO 'I hope you are well'.

Dear ex

I am writign to inform you that the last maintenance I recieved from you was on X for X ammount. This leaves X still to be paid up to X date. I expect payment within 14 days.
Sincerely,

The CSA weren't interested in Ds's father because at the time I got onto them, I wasn't claiming benefits.
Of course, I gave the lone parent advisor all the details I had for him 2+ years ago, but they've never come back to me regarding him or maintenance from him

Ok.

I bloody well hate this...

Thank you for your advice though I'll get that sorted. Must look out my bank statements too...