My neighbor/ friend being really offish with me

[Jujubean77]

She blows hot and cold with me all the time and it is confusing and I am a bit sick of it really. History is we have child a similar age, when she first moved in I made an effort with her and invited her over a couple of times and it was fine but she never seemed to want to go further - never invited me back or anything but I didn't mind. Then she would meet me in the street and be super friendly but the next week would not really pass a comment.

The other month she actually ranted at a friend of mine who had parked 2' over her driveway, she was so rude I was actually shocked that she would react like that to someone she knew was a friend of mine. I text her to see if everything was ok and she just wrote back saying along the lines of never do that again .

She seems to talk to me when she wants to and then blank me - when she found out I was friends with someone she knew she started to befriend me again but when she found out I wasn't in with a certain crowd it went back to blanking me.

I suppose what I want to do is stop being so nice to her all the time - I always make conversation, friendly etc as I don't want to fall out with someone that lives so close by. How do you think I should handle this situation?

Just smile and say hello but don't enter into any small talk with her. She obviously doesn't want to be friends and I don't think it is always a good idea to be good friends with a neighbour as it makes it harder when you have neighbourly disputes.

i don't see what you lose by being friendly/civil when you bump into each other, just don't invite her round any more.

I just feel angry at her - but you are right I will just not engage even when she is in her nice mode I suppose

i would find it hard to snub someone like that, why would you want to be rude to her face? with people you see around a lot, e.g. neighbours, school mums - people who are more acquaintances than friends - there are bound to be times when they're feeling chatty and times when they're not, why take offence? clearly you're not going to end up great mates, but i still don't see what you have to lose by just being polite.

Why did your friend have the bad manners to park 2' over your neighbour's driveway? I'm not surprised your neighbour was unhappy about it.

Did you even apologise to her?

The neighbour's driveway thing is fair enough I think, if she couldn't get out/in I think I would have said sorry to smooth things over.

IMO she just wants to be a neighbour not a friend. The odd chat and that's that.

Don't sweat it concentrate on your friends and be polite but don't invest too much in her - view her as just a nieghbour.

I am not saying I want to be rude to her face, she has no problem with being rude to me though. I have been polite to her throughout actually.

I said I text her to apologise uriel, but it did not warrant her reaction as she move it immediate and apologised herself - guess you had to be there.

I am experiencing the reverse of this (and no, I'm not your neighbour!).

There's a girl down my road who's ten years younger than me. We have nothing in comon except the fact we live on the same street. She walks past my house on the school run and is determined we are going to be friends. I've been for coffee and had it further confirmed we have nothing in common and couldn't wait to get out.

I find the whole situation very difficult. She's clearly very lonely but you can't force freindship - it has to be based on something more than just happening to live on the same street.

Some days I just find it hard to talk to her because I feel suffocated by her, other days (if I haven't seen her for a few days), it's easier. The problem is she's always pushing and pushing and I don't want to be rude and tell her to bugger off.

Sorry, I'm not saying this is how this other woman is feeling (and some of her actions do sound quite rude) but just wanted to put the alternative view across.

perhaps she simply doens't want to be friends and you have invested more into it?

Juju - you said you sent her a text to see if everything was ok, not the same as apologising for it.

I have neighbours whose friends consistently park over the driveway, making it difficult for me to get in an out. It's really annoying.

I am have never EVER pushed to be her friend - I am super aware of how annoying that is, I simply invited her for coffee on moving into the area because I thought it would be a nice thing to do.

What I don't get is the blowing hot and cold - being really friendly and then blanking me and I wondered how was best to deal with it as I really don't want to seem like she can get away with doing it.

To be frank if her visitor had blocked my drive I would have bit my tongue and been civil about it - as I feel it is best to be polite to neighbors.

I suppose I will just keep being nice but not engage in any way, even when she is in super friendly mode!

well I did apologise uriel, and asked if she was ok (after her rude outburst)

we also do not do it consistently (we have never done it at all) so very different from your situation.

Why should juju apologise for someone else parking over her friend's driveway?

Well that was what was arkward for me Balloon - it wasn't even my argument I wasn't actually present but watching from the window..

still apologised though

doesn't matter if someone parks over your driveway unless you need to move your car, does it?

My (other) neighbour has a private tutor for her son on Friday afternoons. This tutor regularly blocks my drive when I'm out, which means I can't get back on the drive when I arrive home. Now, blocking the drive when someone is out is quite different and requires an apology.

Hmm, my neighbour.....she was livid when I knocked on the door and asked nicely if they could move the car a bit. Her response was that I ought to park on the road at the front. I did point out that I had (a) a boot full of shopping and (b) a sleeping toddler. I resisted the temptation to say that I had (c) a legal right to access to my property!

Some people are incredibly rude.