Online dating query

[RockinSockBunnies]

So, I've been on Match.com for about 10 weeks. Been on a few dates. Met one guy who's lovely, we've been out three times, meeting on Wednesday and he's made further plans with me for the ballet in a few weeks, and for a dinner party in January. He's sweet, I fancy him and he's a great kisser!

But, my question is, at what stage should I expect him not to log in anymore on the website? If I log in I can tell when he's last logged on (i.e. in past twenty-four hours/past three days/past week etc) and he can also see the same information about me. Obviously I have no idea if he's talking to other women online. When I get messages or something, then I log on to say that I'm sort of seeing someone and it's early days etc. He could be doing the same thing.

Is this something I should just ignore? Or discuss? He's American so I know that dating is a more discussed and structured activity!

Any advice?

This is, imho, the trickiest part of going from internet dating to RL dating and thereby into a relationship. I did a lot of internet dating, on and off, over about 5 years and had 3 relationships (not counting my last and final one which I am very happily still with and we're expecting our first child in about 4 weeks).

Basically, as soon as we were at the stage where we going to have sex I had the 'exclusivity' conversation where I explained that tickets to this show automatically cancelled out tickets they might still have to any other shows. Once that had been established it was pretty easy to follow on with well let's hide/delete profiles while we see where this goes. But I did have to let myself trust that they had done this and not drive myself mad checking on them - if they were going to be a bounder then I would just have to accept my judgement of them had been wrong. A couple of times we did the deleting together (some bizarre kind of dating ritual?!)

WRT him being American I had a g/f who got very hurt (and please bear in mind entirely anecdotal/huge sweeping generalisation) dating an American because his definition of 'dating' was being able to have sexual relations with a number of women concurrently until deciding which one he wanted to be exclusive with. He did seem to think that was the way things were done. That could just be him though.

I'd just make sure you have the exclusive conversation before you end up in bed together. But until then I would resist the urge to log on, stop checking on him and enjoy the dating - while trying not to invest too heavily emotionally in him until you get to the stage where you feel you need to have that conversation. If you're planning dates into January it certainly looks positive so good luck! (My DP and I know at least 3 other couples who are now married courtesy of the internet so it can and does work!)

Thanks for the advice! It's so hard to resist logging on to check whether he's been logging on! Which is ironic, since he could be doing the exact same thing and drawing conclusions about why I'm online!

Bumping....