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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP help thanks

2 replies

tryingbutfailing · 29/11/2009 16:16

Hi I am new on here but thankyou for reading this. I am wondering if anyone on here knows anything about bipolar. DP is wonderful in many ways, I love him to pieces but recently his mood swings have got worse. I have been reading about bipolar and I wonder if anyone has experience of treatement for this working? Or even how to tell if it is actually this?

No way will he go to see the gp and I have asked gp anyway what he thinks about him but he says (rightly)that he cannot discuss dp with me but that I should keep encouraging him to go.

Dp doesn't have any friends to speak of, or I would talk to them about this. He is friendless. It doesn't seem to bother him as he thinks other people are below him anyway. His family are not around. I do love him and want to help him but I am worried by his moods. We cant get out together but then he wouldn't go anyway. I have a couple of girlfriends I can talk to but they are busy I dont like bothering them with it.

Dp gets angry and upset but then sulks and I am a nothing to him. He has walked out for a few days in the past then comes back and says he is very sorry and is in bits. When he's nice its fantastic but when hes on a downer there is no getting through. Also he sulks for days and takes money out of our account then when he gets over it puts the money back in and is genuinely devistated at what he has done. He has never been good with money and I am in charge of money as a result but I wonder if this makes him feel useless.

I know it all sounds awful but I think if he had some friends he wouldnt feel so bad about life?
thanks in advance for your help. I know you will say go to GP but he wont. thanks.

Also, he has two children from another relationship but i have to try hard to make him keep the relationship with them going. I know he loves them but he sees them as a punishment for his problems.

OP posts:
BlueBumedFly · 29/11/2009 19:36

Hi, I cannot help I am afraid but I am sure there are lots of lovely people over on Mental Heath section who would be able to help you.

Good luck x

NanaNina · 30/11/2009 17:49

I don't think you should assume your H has bi-polar disorder though he does seem to have some kind of emotional distress. Do you know what's at the bottom of his behaviour? Would he be as resistant to going to see a counsellor to try to have a look at what might be causing this kind of behaviour. FWIW it sounds to me more like he is suffering from some sort of anxiety/depression which is often the root cause of this kind of behaviour. Is he stressed about his job/money or anything else. Have you tried talking to him about his behaviour and the way it affects you. Sometimes men aren't aware of the way their behaviour affects others.

On the relationship threads there are many posts about men like this and I think you need to make sure that you don't use all your energy worrying about HIM and his behaviour but that you also think about YOU and how you are being affected and get some support for yourself.

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