Convince me it will all be ok!!!

[mamayaya]

Separated from H last Sunday. He has moved out (his dad had just bought a house in our village, which he was going to let out). He has seen dd for 5 minutes since last weekend. Wouldn't have her overnight at the weekend as it "makes it too real for him". Claimed couldn't pick her up from nursery on Friday as he "had a 4.30pm meeting" (which turned out to be in the pub). Grrrrrrrrrr.

I think it was the right decision (he is moody, grumpy, has an awful temper, controlling, need I go on?!) but I am worried about money (he's a partner in a law firm, I work 2 days / wk - as a solicitor too but in a small firm).And annoyed that I have sole responsibility for dd who is only 17 months. And annoyed for her that he hasn't made more of an effort. And wondering what the hell will happen to us ?!?!?!?!

It's early days, it all takes a while to get used to.

Don't panic, just try to keep going and let your routine flow.

Actually, having DD will be a help somehow, keep you busy and focussed. Trust me!

He IS in denial at the mo, he is hurting, regardless of who instigated the split, it still hurts once it's done, even if he was the one to call time. Guilt perhaps. I don't know your exact circumstances.

You need time to repair yourself, to recover from the temper, control etc. It will be OK, you will get there, but you are asking a little too much of yourself right at this very moment.

Stay strong, keep posting.

bless you...so much to cope with..with such a young daughter.. you have to follow whatever path you feel is right for you and your partner no matter who brings in the money.. Life is a rollercoaster as they say...you need to decide what is best for you not only financially but what life you want to lead...All the best to you!!

How's everything today?

Thanks for the posts!

Today we went for a session of couples counselling. It was good to be somewhere neutral and to discuss things. The therapist was very good and picked up on his depression, stress and fear of being left / abandoned and my bubbling resentment. She made some good suggestions, like him coming to mind dd at our house and me going to the other house so that she isn't disturbed and is just staying at home - which was a good idea. Also saying 'time out' when talking and seems like an argument is coming and then setting a time to talk again.

We had a hug at the end and then said goodbye and went back to our separate houses. He said he wants to come back home but I said am not ready for this and we talked about it a bit.

Nice to come home and have the peace. Plus worked today so always good to take mind off things.

Thanks for posts .... much appreciated. It's so strange being by myself at home (well, DD in bed but still..)