SAHM not a job?

[Leka]

I am a SAHM, living overseas with my SO and our 2.10 year old DS and his daughter who is 10 is here 2-3 nights per week.

Since DS was born DP his care has been 100% my responsibility. DP has never gotten up with him in the morning(at 6 a.m.) or suring the night, never bathed him, never changes his diapers, etc. He says he has to run a business and therefore cannot. Ditto with groceries, cooking, laundry, etc.

He gets up about 9, takes a BATH, gets to the office around 10 or 11 and is back at 6.

I don't have family here to help me and I find the hours relentless. I have asked him to help me - on the weekends - and he got furious - me tearful and ended with him pushing me and telling me that he didn't love me - reapeating it in case I didn't get it the first time, told me he was calling his mother to get a lawyer and that I should go back to my country without DS. I told him pushing is abuse and he got even madder and told me he didn't think I was very clever. He just phoned and apologized for the don't love you part. (But didn't take his words back.)

I said that raising DS is a job as important his but I never got a sick day, vacation, weekend. I don't think that it's too much to ask to help me when we're both at home on the weekend. He thinks I'm crazy.
Am I crazy?

OK, so you get a copy of the birth certificate and get him US nationality if at all possible and then you go.

He sounds a prize shit.

You must realise you're not in a great position here - you are not entitled to any benefits or help i nthe country in which you're living. Your child doesn't have your nationality and if things get really nasty - you're out on the street.

Of course he can treat you how he likes - you don't appear to have any legal identity there - he must know this.

Change this and do it now. You will feel better for it and then you can tackle all the issues in your relationship from a much stronger position.

Dank je wel, MadameMoo

The Consl General deals with passports/nationality, it's in Amsterdam. The American Embassy (in The Hauge) may be able to advise/help you too.

x posts...

Actually having read yourpost again the fact that said those things to you means the thought them and although I understand your wish to keep things together if things don't turn out well, that's his plan. That's very very worrying.