Puzzled by new partner fetish tendencies

[CuriousAndPuzzled]

I have recently split up from my partner and have a new partner, nothing too serious, but I do like the guy.

He is very different to any bloke I have come across regarding his bed manners. He wants me to were high heel shoes (he bought them), I love these type of shoes but wearing them in bed, really, I thought it was weird . However, once we got going I soon completely forgot that I was wearing them IYSWIM...

He is also a dominant partner, wants to take the lead, and I have to confess that he does it rather well. There was no pain involved as I would categorically refuse. Now, I know the guy also does bondage (he has not done it yet with me). I have NEVER done anything like this, can you advise me about how far these things can go, when do you stop ? I have no idea. I don't want to end up in a latex suit with a ball in my mouth but I trully, and to my great surprise, enjoyed what we did.
Am I being mad ? Should I leave ? Any advise ? Any website I could read ?

go as far as you want and no further!

sounds great.

the shoe thing isn't weird - it's very common.

sorry, anything fetish, bondage scares me out of my skin. being adventurious is different imo.

Thanx Mrs Boogie,
Still unsure how far you can take it though.

Diva, I thought all of this was creepie too until I tried it!

As far as YOU want to.

Before you embark, discuss it in the cold light of day. Think and agree on a safe-word to be said when your limit is reached. The deal is, you say it and he stops immediately.

Try to keep it a totally random word like "banana" or something so that there is absolutely no confusion when it's said.

RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!!

Lots of people are into this sort of thing in a whole variety of ways. A phrase a lot of them use about whatever it is they do is 'safe, sane and consensual' ie, don't do stuff that's going to cause serious damage or that you don't know how to do safely, don't play with nutters and don't get into doing things when you/other people are totally mullered on drink or drugs and finally negotiate everything and don't assume consent - and if you're the subby one and a bit new to it all, remember that you STILL HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO. Keep talking to your man and listening, it;s fine to say you don't fancy something and to say you'll try it but if you don't like it you'll stop; any decent partner will be fine with stopping as soon as you feel uncomfortable or even just bored.
Good luck, have fun, and if you want to shop for toys, come to the next LFF and say hello .

MadamCastafiore? Why should she run when he's a nice guy who is asking her to try things and not forcing her? It's OK to be into fetish and kinky sex you know - it might not be to everyone's taste but it isn;t wrong.

I take note, thanx. Yes, he is very decent, careful and very experienced lover, he knows exactly how to immobilise me without hurting which I presume is what to be expected.

Will keep the idea of the "banana" word, maybe find another one though!

No, I won't run for the hills but if one day he does not stop while I ask him, that will probably be it for me.

Great.. Have lots of fun and keep talking. Dont do anything that you are not comfortable with but have fun testing the boundaries.

I'd say not to do anything that your gut instinct to, is real fear or revulsion.
You can still get an awful lot out of the milder side of things.

I think that problems can come when the "props" are more important than the sex - if he can't have sex without you in heels or without restraining you, then that is the time to worry imho - If he isn't really interested in sex with just you, then I imagine you would end up resentful of not being the main focus.

High heels in bed = ripped sheets!