Terribly Lonely

[rct1501]

A plea fo help. I have 2 children and have been married for 13 years. I love my husband but have in the last couple of years emerged from the tyranny of toddlers and sleepness nights only to confront the fact that my husband and I live totally separate lives and I don't know how to face the future with him. He has through work not lived at home properly for 4 years now. He thinks that's ok because when he does come home he makes a genuine effort to contribute. But I look around our home and at our children and very sadly they our mostly mine - not ours. He is a good and honourable man but I am so deperately unhappy with this enforced solitude I am crippled by it. As to his work changing - he is a military man and it so much part of him I would be breaking his heart to ask him to seek another role in life. I am just wondering if anyone has any coping mechanisms. I feel very strongly that it is my responsibility to address this so I can be an effective mum and wife but at the same time I am in despair because I cannot 'take control' in any way in this situation - I just have to live with it.

You say he is a miliary man - are there any other miliary famiies nearby you can befriend so you don't feel so alone? Perhaps there is an organisation for the families of soldiers you can contact, that acts as a support network and that you can do things with?
I have no experience of this kind of lifestyle but I do have friends whose partners work away a lot and they feel almost like single parents and say it is very lonely.
Perhaps you need to look around you and see how you can meet more people in your locality, to fill that empty time.
Good luck!

I agree with Hislittlepoppet.

My husband is away Monday to Thursday and I feel terribly lonely too. My Children are 9 and 5 and I also work school hours so not a lot of time or opportunity to be me.

I do try and have friends round once in a while just to break the monotony of it all and this does help a little.

Have you thought about finding a babysitter just so that you can get out even for just one night a week.

Its very depressing being in this situation and I struggle a lot. But dont forget we are only human and we matter too so dont feel bad, try and get some time for you.

Hugs X