moving house away from kids dad

[lottylouloopy]

Hi all,

Me and my partner have decided we want to move to a new house closer to our family this means that my children will have to move school and nursery but they will be living closer to their grandparents, i told there dad of this news today and he is not overly impressed to say the least, we are moving about 15 miles away from where we live now so not that far the kids will see their dad alternate weekends as they always have and i have offered to drop and collect the kids to their dad so he doesn't have to travel the extra distance.

I think i am being reasonable here as this move is not affecting his regular contact with the kids one bit and i'm not even expecting him to go out of his way to collect them but he is being awkward and says he will try to stop the move and get custody of our children himself.

Does anybody know if it is possible for him to stop us moving or getting custody of the kids ?? ( my children are 3 and 5 haven't lived with their dad for 2 years and are very happy living with me) any advice would be much appreciated.

I very much doubt he would be able to prevent you relocating unless he can argue it is not in the children's best interests which doesn't look too likely on the facts you have given. Do you have an agreement re. the alternate weekends? Clearly you are the primary carer, and have been for years, so he is highly unlikely to end up with custody now; the move is not exactly across the country and there will be advantages to the kids of being nearer family etc.

Does he tend to drop in a lot in the week and is he worried about losing this? Or do you think it is just an attempt to retain control of things (I have a H who is doing something similar atm so sympathise....I am having to give up work because of it)

He only sees them alternate weekends, he doesn't have any other contact with them within the week he doesn't even phone them. I do think it is an attempt to control things.

He is able to make an application to the court to stop you moving as he shares parental responsibility with you for the children. However, I strongly suspect that the District Judge will tell you ex that whilst he/she may sympathise with him being concerned about any change that the children may undergo, the reality is that his time with them will not change. You are clearly moving for a good reason and hardly very far either. TBH you are doing far more than some parents I know by offering to do the majority of the travelling. Hopefully when he thinks about how it will impact on him (not much by the sounds of it) he'll be fine.

Perhaps the clue as to why he has reacted badly is in the sentence beginning 'I told there Dad...'.

Do you think, given that they are his children too, that perhaps a more reasonable approach would have been to ASK him about the move, to discuss it like parents? After all, I bet you and your partner discussed the relative merits of moving, have checked into new schools and nurseries, have weighed up the pro's and con's for quite a while. This courtesy could have been extended to their father and given him a chance to be involved in the process. As he has PR, you really should be consulting him about educational matters anyway.

I think the move is reasonable, but the way you presented it was a bit high-handed. I agree that he is unlikely to be able to prevent you from moving but he can apply and you would not be allowed to move the kids until a judgement was given.

agree with mmred this is possible.

Fair enough in what you are saying but the children's dad is not a person you can sit and have a nice conversation with, i have told him that he can be involved with schools in the area we are moving to so that they go to the best school in the area, i have to add that if my children's dad cared so much about them, how is it that he can walk past them in the street and not even acknowledge them, not see them or phone them for birthdays and only feels that he has a responsibility to his children on the alternate weekends he has them,

he sounds bizarre, lottylou