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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

becoming a single mum.. advice please!

5 replies

Alfiepops · 26/11/2009 11:51

I have an 11 month old son and plan to leave my partner next year sometime (we're in the UK).. has anyone been through this? Can you let me know what I'm entitled to financially? How It all works as a single mum? Can I stay at home with my baby as a single mum? Where can I get more advice? What can I expect? Can I stay where I'm living with my baby? Any help from mums who've recently been through this would really help me right now!! Look forward to hearing from you!

OP posts:
shelleylou · 26/11/2009 11:55

What you can get depends on whether your working and if so how many hours. If your not working you can claim Income support, Housing benefit and council tax benefit and Child tax credit. You can stay at home with you ds but with IS have to go to 6 monthly work foccused interviews.

myweestars · 26/11/2009 12:35

Alfiepops just wanted to say hello and let you know that there is help out there. I am at the moment trying to keep a house with my 2 DS's aged 3 and 1. Have just split recently with my partner. I work part time, like you never knew where to start!

Citizens Advice were a great help. They point you in the right directions. You WILL get help and it may not be as bad as you think.

My dilemma is I WANT to keep my house but can't afford the mortgage on my own and get NO help to mortgage because I work, if I didn;t work, I would, all wrong!!

Anyway if you are a single mym and rent, you will get housing benefit and child tax or working tax credit depending if you work or not.

Thinking of you, it is an emotional rollercoaster and a stress and worry but you will be ok and will get there. It has only been 2 months since this all started for me but time is a healer and it is getting slowly easier! Good luck,

Kally · 26/11/2009 19:29

I am a single Mum. I work part-time, so I receive working tax credit, child tax credit and housing benefit - which is about 2/3 of the rent.

I was unemployed for a while (made redundant from previous job) and I then had my full housing benefit paid, and got Income Benefit, Child Tax credit and council tax concessions.

You have to battle with bills a bit, it's a juggling act, but somehow or other you get on with it.

Either working or not, basically you are worth about 1100 pounds a month, and with that you have to manage. It is do'able but you have to pinch the pennies. I work part-time so I get less housing benefit now as I am earning, and it all balances out to about the same 1100 - 1200 a month.

BUT... peace of mind and independance... it's worth more than money can buy!!!!

I have meters on my gas and electricity and I find it's easier to manage than a big bill coming in as a surprise. I often get my BT line suspended but I consider that a luxury and if I don't have it then they can wait. Luckily for me I don't have a lot of debt, but then I live frugally... I ride a bike (no car) but then I don't think I could afford a car, to be honest. But that doesn't bother me as all I need is close by and within reach. The main thing is to get life 'manageable' so that you can control everything, distance to schools, trains, bus stops and shops, Dr's etc.

I bought all my first set-up furniture from second hand stores, and slowly, a bit each time, settled for less and things I could pay for. Slowly I have changed my possessions to things I 'wanted' rather than could afford... but to be honest a second hand table feels just the same when you put a pretty table cloth on it. It's all a matter of making concessions and if you allow yourself to, you can be very happy on very little. Just don't aim too high and be content with things that work and are servicable rather than 'modern and classy'. You'll be amazed at yourself and at the end of the day, it's all yours and not bought with money you don't have. Good Luck!

AnyFucker · 26/11/2009 19:45

kally, how inspirational you sound !

queenofdenial2009 · 26/11/2009 20:36

Yes, you can do it - come over to the lone parents section! Try www.entitled.gov.uk for financial information. Also, it is much better for you and your kids to have less money and be happier; that is much more valuable.

It sounds like you're really planning this and that's the best thing. Tell us a bit more about your situation and we can be specific. Make sure your name is not on any debts such as credit cards or loans as a starter for ten.

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