will my dh love me, again?

[mummy4u]

i really need to hear some comforting, hopeful words please! my dh have been married over 8 yrs, together 5 years before in a long distance relationship(long story). we have a lovely son, 22 months old.we have been under financial pressure, and my dh doesnt have any family except his sister and her children, and they dont get on for one reason or another. i dont have any contact with her, but have told my dh i will visit her in order to make his lifer fuller and happier. the problem is my dh said he didnt love me anymore. i am broken.. he said he is fed up of his life, or not having a life and with the things i have said in the past.he tends to not argue back so bottles things up.his family are abroad, his friends have all gone back one by one, he just has a couple of friends and a business we bought 18 months ago.he left the house one night, but i convinced him to come back. we talked, he says he doesnt have feelings for me, but we made love 2 nights in a row and it couldnt of been more passionate if we tried.i dont understand, he was very affectionate. i text him today asking if he really didnt have feelings for me, and he said he wish he could tell me the things i wanted to hear.i asked if there was a chance he could love me, he said i was still his husband and i havent left you nor have i disregarded the fact that i love him,he said can you make me love you? is this possible? has anyone gone thru this?he says we need time and agrees a mini holiday together away from the stress of day to day living. does this sound good?i wish he would say something near i love you.sorry really long. i cant confide in my family as they were never supportive of our relationship.

If the holiday doesn't work, then maybe you need some time apart, men do their best thinking when they're removed from the security of a wife/family, if that makes sense.

Sorry I found your post a little bit confusing. Are you and your H still living together or apart.

I can see how upsetting this is for you but I don't think you are going to make it better by clinging on to your H and trying to make him love you. Indeed this is likely to have the opposite effect. You must try and gather some self respect and don't act as a doormat for your H as this will only give him the message that he can do as he likes and you will put up with it. On the other hand if he realises that there may be unpleasant consequences to his actions (like YOU deciding you've had enough) this might make him see things in a different light.

Having sex is not the same as having loving and caring feelings about someone - I think the two can and often are very separate things (especially where men are concerned) Also he has the best of both worlds here doesn't he - he can tell you he doesn't love you etc but you are only too willing to have sex with him - what man wouldn't like that?

Sorry if this sounds harsh but I think you need to think about YOU and your feelings and not just about your H and his feelings. You are worth more than that.

if i were you i would swallow my heartache and stop appearing so wet to him

nothing worse than someone fauning all over you.

think you need to remind him that you can get a goof fuck elsewhere - another mans dick inside you and that his child may know another man by the term daddy.

bout time you grew some balls and told him that he should leave, you too want a life with someone you love - someone who can love you back.

stop having sex with him, it's degrading.

Mummy4u,
You just have to tell him that you still care for him but that you accept his decision. Then take active measures to have him move out/you move out and get on with your life.

As others have said, holding on to him will only make him disrespect you and treat you badly. All the issues he has (being away from family, financial pressures etc) should not be an excuse for how he feels about you.

I'm sorry that this is happening to you, but can promise you that the only way you stand to "win back" his affections is by letting him go. At worst you'll at least retain some self respect and dignity.

thank you everyone who has replied.think i will take time and think about next steps, and you are all right, i need to think of myself and how it all makes me feel.thanks again guys for reminding me.