DH tells me lies....

[cheesefarmer]

My DH tells me little lies about things like how much he has drank or whether or not he has watched porn before coming to bed or that he can't get a taxi home when in fact he can but he just wants to stay out.

I find him out a lot of the time because he isn't that clever about it.

I'm not the sort of person to go mad at him for any of the above btw. But it hurts my feelings that he lies to me like he is a teenager and I'm his mother.

Not sure why I am posting really. It's just bothering me tonight, because I found out that he lied to me regarding friday night - he drank a bottle of gin and didn't come to bed til 5am (I know this because I saw his post on a site we both go on). But he told me he had't drank much and was in bed 1ish.

I actually DO trust him not to cheat on me etc. But I just don't know how to feel about the little lies, because it could mean he lies to me about bigger things....

Any advice?

I think a lot of men are like this - my h was/still is like this. I think some of it is habit - a bit like not telling your mum but like you said it is disrespectful.

Its as if they want to 'be naughty' and feel somehow clever that they have got away with it .

However i would try and nip it in the bud and since my h affair ALL lies are seen as bad. Although like i said sometimes i think it is a habit and it is hard for them to stop.

But my h now really tries and knows that silly lies can lead to bigger ones.

i am not saying that they will but it is a worry - and it is so silly if he gets caught out so often anyway.

There will be a reason for him doing this - try and work out what it is and work on ti.

For my h he finds it hard to share - he was an only child and still finds it hard to share his thoughts sometimes - he says it is because sometimes he just wants to rebel (but even doesnt know what against sometimes)

Good luck though

I´d be worried if he´s constantly lying about how much he drinks, tbh.

I would try to find out why he does it.

As you say, the little lies could lead to bigger ones.

You trust him, but do you respect him?

My DH is the same, lies all of the time sometimes for no reason. Makes me think he spends so much time being deceitful he's forgotten to automatically tell the truth....

I am sorry, but do you ladies still respect a grown man who constantly fibs like a 6 yo ?

I wouldn't

Wanting to rebel ? Against what? Why would he need to rebel against his wife ?

Blimey, sometimes these man-children really do need a kick up the arse.

Sounds like ita being done for a quiet life

yes they do need a kick up the arse.

The trouble sometimes is though that the lies are silly and dont really do any harm and therefore dont get dealt with, and we 'silly' woman put up with them. If we do say something then it is seen as making a mountain out of a molehill.

The whole thing is very childish and I do think that there is fault on both sides if the lies continue.

I remember my h telling some mutal friends some silly lies to make himself look better - and how would i have looked if i had just said thats bullshit? Yes in hindsight i think i should but at the time it would have been seen as me being unreasonable.

Its not right but i can see how it happens.

I would have pulled him up on it afterwards HW, away from anyone else.

That is NU. He is making himself look like a pillock. And do you (and he) think that everybody really believes these little fairy tales?

I would guess not.