Why would you want to be with such a ditherer? Doesn't want to be tied down... FGS!
You have your DC, they are the most important people in your life, if he's not head over heels with you, and talking about not wanting to get tied down, then it's a non starter. If he went out with you and things got serious, it'd impact your DC, and tbh, I don't think he's capable of 'coming through' for you, let alone your DC.
I'd back off until I could get over the crush if i were you. Unless he suddenly grows up, the only thing you 2 are going to be is friends, so just get yourself to come to terms with that however you can and get on with your life.
You DO have a lot to deal with, and it WON'T be every and any man that can be a part of it all, you will have to be choosy, to protect your DC, but to make sure they don't sneak in under the radar, then bail cos they can't handle the responsibility.
Don't worry, the right man WILL make the effort, WILL be there for you, and WILL care for your DC, no matter how challenging they can be. WHY? Because he will be a real man, and one that loves you for you. Don't settle for a man with a dodgy past and some questionable choices... he doesn't sound like much of a catch at all... You deserve better, your DC deserve better.