Inspired but the exes at wedding thread - I am quite surprised how many people seem to have stayed friends with an ex

[FabHasHadHerSurprise]

Does it make a difference how old you were when together, who did the dumping and if there is any left over feelings on either side?

I am not in touch with any of my exes but had been with one but it was too difficult so had to break it off.

Well, I had a 2-week thing at 14, a holiday thing at 14, a relationship from 14-16, one from 17-19, then now ex-h from 19-35.

I am still in touch with ex, as we have children, but I wouldn't say we are friends anymore.

I'm not in touch with any of the others, and haven't been since the end of each relationship.

I tend to think this type of question doesn't apply to the way my life has gone though.

Didn't see the wedding thread, but my Ex-H is a close friend. He's always been a good bloke - but we married too young, I was pregnant with DS1 6 months after we met (aged 20) which can't have helped, we were always very very skint and I resented the city moves we made to further his career. And then he had an affair, which was the final straw. But now I can sort of understand why - things were pretty bad.

But despite all this, I've never stopped liking him. And he's supported me with a lot of stuff since, and continued to be a good father. He's guardian to DS2 & 3 (from my second marriage).

I ultimately did the dumping (he realised the error of his ways post affair) but no, neither of us have any feelings for the other. He's just a huge part of my life.

My ex-H is also still a friend as well as Dad to dd1.

Think we were/are both self aware to know the marriage break down was both our faults so there was no revenge/punishment type stuff going on IYSWIM.

I was friends with an ex that I'd been in a relationship with for three years in our mid twenties. Fairly serious as we'd bought a house together etc. I instigated the break up, but he agreed it had run it's course, we were sad but it was the right thing to do. For the initial year to 18 months we spoke occassionally, but then we stayed friends. He was my cinema buddy and I was his lovelife advisor etc. This carried on when I got married, (he came) and my now exh had no problem with it. Then the ex boyfriend met someone serious and they got married. She clearly didn't like him being friends with me, even though we'd been split for a long time and I was married.

He invited me and my h to the wedding, but asked me to look like I was very married. I realised that it was going to be difficult for him if I went so said that it was best I didn't go. I think he was relieved and really since then we've lost touch.

A few years ago I contacted him via facebook and we exchanged a few emails, but eventually he said he couldn't make me a friend as his wife wouldn't like it. By this point I'd re-married and had three dc's as far as I'm concerned no threat. I miss him very much as a friend, but that's it nothing more and am sad that we can't keep in touch. However I wouldn't do anything that would make his wife uncomfortable, so that's it.

If someone told me that all my exes had been catapulted into outer space never to return I would be bloody delighted.

But then I had shit taste in men until I was 35. No man was unsuitable enough it seemed...

My first boyfriend is my best friend's cousin, so I still see him occasionally and we get on ok. I don't have any feelings for him though, that relationship ran its course.

Most of you know how I feel about ex number 2 since he is the OM I am agonising over at the moment! We were parted by circumstances and I have unresolved feelings for him, so I doubt we will ever just be friends, nice as that would be.

I would hope if DH and I do end up splitting up we could remain friends, as he is a wonderful person, and has always been my best friend, but I guess that depends on how things get handled if that occurs. We have two children, whom he adores and is a great dad to, so we will always be linked by them in any event. I am not sure it is possible to just write off 17 years of your life, most of which is good, even if the relationship ends.

the loss of ex in my life (after 17 years) has been so hard. He was the person I turned to for everything during the majority fo my adult tife - and suddenly not only could I not turn to him, but he was the one causing the hurt.

unbelievably painful.

we "get on" ok now, when we see each other and hand-overs, we go to parent-teacher meetings etc.
I can't see how we could ever have the friendship back.

my DP is still good friends with one his ex's. It doesn't bother me at all. I think if you have been in a relationship with someone you will always care for them. it doesn't mean you want to be with them or still love them, or that you love your current partner any less. I am happy he has a good relationship with her and there is no bitterness.