Please help me compose a text...

[duke748]

'Hey little lady, hope you are well. Been pondering for days if I should text you or not, guessed right now the last thing you would want is a message from me. Anyway, just wanted you to know I miss you terribly and your conversation and only want the best for you. Take care for now and look after yourself.'

Long story short, I broke up with my man of a year last weekend. We don't have any children and were together for 2 years. It was a long distance relationship.

I love him dearly but he basically showed over many different incidents that he didn't want the same things as me. Instead of saying that straight, he would kind of say what I wanted to hear (perhaps thinking he meant it at the time) until I finally figured out it was all untrue and getting really upset.

This happened many times over things such as meeting his parents, spending New Year together, going on holiday together etc etc.

He is a nice guy, treated me well on a day to day basis, but this fundamental feeling of being misled and not quite trusting what he said meant I finally gave up the ghost.

So anyway, what I am trying to say is I love him and wish it could have worked out but I had to finally give up the ghost and realise we couldn't be together.

I have removed his number from my phone to remove temptation for drunken texts and have tried so very hard to retain my dignity (its all I have left!) by not contacting him at all and asking him not to contact me.

I do want to be friends with him in time as we get on really well and have lots of fun together. However I feel like I need time to let feelings calm down as I feel really hurt and let down at the moment.

So how should I respond, if at all?

Thanks all for your help - am trying to play this right, but, whilst I can give out the advice no problem, I feel at a loss as to what to say to this one!

Thank you for your good wishes, I too want what's best for me which is why I won't be contacting you again.

Maybe?

ew, he calls you little lady?

ignore

you can't be friends with this man, he had 2 years to treat you well and make a future with you

forget friendship - it never works with an ex. Maintain dignified silence.

i agree. dignified silence!!!

He had his chance, he blew it.

Do not reply.

little lady? hmmm...no, don't like that.

Well it sound like a goodbye text to me so if you want to be polite and reply I would just say "wishing you the best also" or something non-committal like that.

Full stop.

Thanks for your replies ladies.

I have actually managed to remain friends with the boyfriend before him, who I was with for 4 years. He is a totally crap boyfriend but is a good friend.

It took us a while but we now meet up (usually with partners, but not always) every few months or so for dinner or theatre. He also does all my DIY for me still!

However that ex lives in the same town as me, and one of my main motivations was not wanting to feel uncomfortable if I saw him in a bar or restaurant in town. But this guy lives two hours away.

So, I'd like to think I can figure out friendship with this guy too. As long as that doesn't make me feel worse. I guess I have to put myself first, but overall I would like to remain friends with everyone who has shared such a large part of my life.

Am I being unrealistic?

If you don't want him back, don't reply.

ditto little lady.

Don't reply.

eww, sounds like a twat

ignore

Delete
Forgeddaboudit

I couldn't be friends with someone who called anyone 'little lady', let alone me! Does he do that often? And do simper in response

Just delete all evidence, take some psychotopic drugs and convince yourself that the last 2 years didn't happen....

hmm depends what you want really i think

Sounds like he's on a fishing trip, trailing a little bait and seeing if you'll bite. Silence would likely be the best response.

"Hey little lady" = "I want you to miss me"

"the last thing you would want is a message from me." = "but I'm going to do it anyway because sod what you want, it's all about me

"Take care for now" = "because I'm assuming that there's no way you could possibly resist replying to ME ME ME ME ME".

Prove him wrong!

I thought 'Hey little lady' meant 'I'm a ruffled-shirt wearing shiny-booted line-dancer'. But maybe that's just me?

agree with theworldsgonemad.

sounds like he wants to salve his conscience and not look like the bad guy

wait until you've got a new boyfriend who you really like before trying to be friends with your ex - otherwise you'll just get confused

Or, I would translate it as..."hmmm, actually, could do with keeping this woman on the radar for some sex and company when it suits me but longterm she is not what I want.."

I would say don't reply. Just post here instead. Delete his text off your phone so his number is gone again from your phone. If you text him back, I wager you will stay in touch and he will have you back in bed when he feels like a shag. This will work against you being open to someone who is actually into you, wants to spend special holidays, etc. with you.

If he realises from your split that he actually really misses you and wants more, he'll have to try a lot harder than a text.