Lust, passion or just comfy???

[LouIsAWeetbixKid]

So some background..
I have been single for about 5 years. All previous relationships have been with the sterotypical private school, rugby playing army guy. Lots of lust and sex and not much else.
I have now met a fabulous guy, I really like him and have fallen hard. He feels the same. The thing is, I do not feel that overwhelming lust and passion when I see him. The sex is amazing, I love to be around him, we are completely comfortable together and I can see myself getting married and having his children.
SO, since this really is my first proper 'adult' relationship (only took 20 years) I am confused a bit. Is it normal not to feel that lust and passion all the time? Is what I am feeling normal?
I am really confused and need some wisdom or a kick up the backside.
Thanks

"The sex is amazing, I love to be around him, we are completely comfortable together and I can see myself getting married and having his children."

Erm, what do you think lust and passion are?

I mean I do not get that hot tingly feeling in my stomach when I see him. It is all very juvenile I know but I am not very good at relationships

I think when you meet someone who you really click with it doesn't have to be lust and passion all the time - as the sex doesn't need to replace the 'not much else' parts of the relationship. You say the sex is great but do you get excited to see him? Do you get those butterflies in your tummy?

That is the thing, I am not getting the butterflies and that worries me. I get excited to see him (only on weekends unfortunately) and I panic to make sure I am looking ok when I get off the train but there is none of that rollercoaster ride feeling.
Lust dies out though, is it not better to have a relationship built on something other then just hormones? All my other relationships haven't and they all died a miserable death.

I think your last sentence should give you your answer

If you enjoy the sex and see a lovely future together, that is the absolute crux of a good relationship

Does he make you feel good about yourself ? Ask yourself that

/kick

You say you are excited to see him, but don't have butterflies. Perhaps that's a good thing. Butterflies often means we're nervous!

When I met DH, I was excited to the point of delirium at seeing him - but I wasn't nervous. In fact, one of the things I noticed most was the complete absence of "game-playing". It was so refreshing. I didn't have to pretend not to have the strong feelings I did - and neither did he. So when I met up with him, I felt comfortable straight away, in an unguarded way. There was also no "rollercoaster", which implies ups and downs. There were no downs, just fantastic "ups".

The sex was brilliant (and still is 25 years later!) and I've no doubt it was sexual excitement that caused the delirium, but I also recognised that I was falling in love. I'd fallen in love before of course, but there was always some angst attached to it. There was no angst with DH at all.

How old are you? You sound ever so young.

the butterflies in the tummy feeling lasts for about 4 dates IME.

Sorry, I try to not MN on the weekends. Detox I think.
I am not young but have always have had very immature style relationships that have been based on sex and with no substance. PLus I have been single for about 6 years so probably have a relationship age of about 25 so hence the young sounding post. God I do seem young when I read my posts now.
I guess I just needed to hear that other people have felt the same and have had great relationships. I am happy, more then I have been in a while.
Thanks everyone for your help!!