Who is in the wrong?

[1stbaby]

Sorry this is long and rambly but I am so upset with my DH. He says I am selfish but I think he is being totally selfish. I cant see a way forward from this, he is making me so angry and sad.
He has suddenly decided he hates his job (after 5 years with the same company) and wants to do something 'meaningful' with his life. He has no idea what this is and rambles on about making a difference one minute, jumping out of planes another minute and then talks about giving it all up and retraining as a plumber (he currently works in an office job)
We have moved house in the last couple of months and taken on a massive mortgage meaning there is no way we can afford to go down to one income while he finds himself. I have told him this and he says that he will just get any job which will pay the bare minimum as he cant bear to be stuck on the corporate treadmill a minute longer.

To complicate it all I work fulltime and would dearly love to go part time. He says because I dont hate my job then he doesnt see why I should go part time. I dont see why he should get to live his dream (whatever that may be) while I support us both (just to add even if I go part time I will still earn more than him - just not enough to cover the mortgage by myself)
The other thing that makes it all so unfair is - he has done this before! I supported him for a year while he went back to Uni before he got his current job. On top of that his finding himself etc is all about him. I want to work part time for the sake of my daughter but he sees it as some kind of easy life for me.
I am just so sick of being the responsible one, the adult who has to shoulder all the burden

How old is he? is he passing some kind of milestone... 30? 40?

TBH, i think as much as he hates it, he has to suck it up a little, he's had you carrying the load so he could go to Uni, and now he's bored again...?

We all get bored, perhaps he does need a change, but he has to understand that he has to shoulder as much of the responsibility of his family as possible.

If he does fancy a change, then he can by all means look for another roll, but the money has to be at least the same, or ideally more, If you want to be more DC focussed, and have carried things up to now, but not wished this to be a permanent arrangement, well then it's YOUR turn now. he's had his.

If you want to go part time for your daughter's sake, how would you feel about him going part time and spending more time with her? You could suggest that to him.

since you have a child, it is unreasonable of him to expect you to support him, but he is talking about retraining at least. and I know how it feels to work in a job you hate.

basically I don't necessarily think either of you is "in the wrong", but I can't help wondering if, on some level, you don't resent him for not doing the alpha male thing of supporting you? It's not really a burden to work full time with a part time (or sahp) partner.

awww diddums for him

hard shit - he has a job - welcome to the grown up world.

Personally I think you can both find a way around it but you shouldnt have to support him (again)

How about he drops a few hours and so do you and then he can go jump out of planes on his day off, or go to college etc.

to qualify that

i hate my job

have hated it for over 6 years now but i have three kids

i have explored lots of options regarding re-training as i too would like to do something more meaningful

but i get a decent salary and benefits.

he sounds v. childish

Now is not the time to be giving up a job.I am main breadwinner for own family as dp is disabled.I sometimes hate my job but ultimately without it would not be able to pay bills/mortgage.

He is being selfish,especially in light of current economic circumstances.