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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

how can I help a friend going through a separation?

2 replies

ellymae · 17/11/2009 20:43

Last week I found out that one of my friends has recently separated from her husband after finding out he has been having an affair for the last year. She was prepared to try and save the marriage but he has moved out - and moved on it would seem - and so they are heading for the divorce courts.

they have been together 22 years and married for 18 with two boys (13 and 9). Her husband is going to have the boys every Weds evening and every other weekend. A few months back she would have jumped at the chance to have some time away from the children but now she feels as if they are being taken away from her and is dreading not having them around.

In her own words she wants to have fun again - not in a sexual, nights out kind of way - and I'm trying to come up with some ideas of what we could do one day. Ideally it wouldn't involve going somewhere full of happy couples or children and so far I'm a bit stumped

Does anyone have any suggestions of what we could do, or failing that any tips on how I can support her best during this awful time? I live about a 45 min motorway journey away from her and have a young child but with babysitting help my end I hope I could get to her any time she might need some support and of course I'm on the other end of a phone

thanks for your help

OP posts:
norksinmywaistband · 17/11/2009 20:49

From someone going through something very similar to your friend atm,

Be availiable on the end of the phone and keep the contact very regular atm.
I would maybe suggest something basic for time out together, she will want to rant and rave as well as have some girly giggles. Why not book a spa day, and some shopping and lunch - that would be my ideal atm

Sounds like she is very lucky to have a friend like you

ellymae · 18/11/2009 14:32

thanks norks. I think I might just start off with suggesting a lunch/shopping as I don't think either of us have too much money at the moment. That way, as you say the giggles can come naturally rather than having them forced in a more obvious 'fun' environment

i can't begin to imagine what she's going through but will aim to be there when she needs me

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