help.Just askd DHto leave. What now?

[marriedtoafuckwit]

Long story short ( apologies for typos - Im pissed)

Asked DH to leave on fri

Took kids away for Wkend, came back Sun he was gone.

No idea where been worrie until tonihgt.

He rang an hour ago

Hes staying witha mate. Cant stay forever.

Says he dont want to come home and that i prob wouldnt want him (pretty much right - too much gone wrong etc)

No idea whereto gofrom here.

I knowhe loves the kids etc and willdo right by them. But where the fuck do Istand financially

I earn £300 a month. He earns loads more, but still cant imagi9nne him funding 2 lives. Am really woried for long term future. Emotionally I know he will do right by kids ( i wil live whatever - needs must etc)

(Obviously bottle of wine I have just consumed s not helpig)

Am imagining being kicked out of home etc.

Will post am when more sober.....

Not sure of the background to your decision, but it sounds like you know you have done the right thing. What comes next is a seperate issue sweetie. You shouldn't stay with someone just because you are afraid of what might happen if you split. It's back to front. You should stay with someone if it is the right thing.

Get to bed (drink plenty of water first). And tomorrow, get down the citizens advice bureau to get an idea of how you move forward (financially, legally etc).

It'll be all so much easier tomorrow...as long as you drink plenty of water though

I dare say you didn't ask him to leave lightly. Come back tomorrow, we'll all be here...

Have a good night OP, try and get some rest.

Yeah, water and paracetamol!

If you asked him to leave because you seriously mean it, then you just talk to him about what is your future is going to be. Try to be amicable, if it's just not going to work out.
If you think he will do right by the children then financially you should be ok.
But yeah, probably citizens advice or resolution website could be a start.
good luck
x

Ta folks.

thinks its bedtime!!

Hopefully will be brighter in the morning!! Ha ha, like thats gonna happen.

Ok. I've taken the water and paracetamol but life still looks pretty crap.

Gonna tell kids tomorrow that H has moved out, not looking forward to him coming round but feel it is best if we tell them together. DS will be gutted. H hasnt seen kids since Weds due to him going to the pub then me asking him to go. DS asked where daddy was when he woke up, I told him that daddy was already at work, and his shoulders crumpled. Not sure how well he will cope when we tell him that daddy is moving out. I know that I will bear the brunt of his anger.

H is staying at a friends at moment. Still really dont have a clue where to start to sort out finances, can't even begin to think that we can support2 separate lives.

He says he's not coming back, soat least I know that. Just have to find a way to deal with it.

Maybe not with a bottle of wine tonight tho

Look being together is about love and respect but divorce/separation is a business deal. Many sols will do at least a half an hour for free if you find it difficult to get to CAB. For your sake, for his sake and especially for children's sake you need to do business stuff. Bills etc and of course a regular routine for children.

BTW it is well worth ringing

search2.hmrc.gov.uk/kbroker/hmrc/contactus/search.ladv?sr=0&as=1&cs=ISO-8859-1&sc=hmrc&sf =&sm=0&nh=50&ha=34&tx0=60&fl0=contactid:&tx1=&raction=view

and the benfits office. I had to do this when my husband moved out, we are pretty well off as a couple but I was eligible for a lot of help as a single mum. It was nearly enough to pay for him to have somewhere small but ok to live for a while. They were really nice to me and quick off the mark too! It made it easier to talk to my husband about finances when he realized I was doing what I could to help sort things out.

Incidently - you need to tell your council as well - you will get a 25% reduction in council tax.

I am sorry if this comes over as harsh - I do know how it hurts especailly when you think of the children. I do think the more practical you are the sooner the better for YOU though. There is some control attached to doing these things that I found helpful.

Keep talking - and look forward to that SINGLE glass of wine when this evening is done. x