date night...what do we do (long, sorry)

[ellliebelle]

When I met DH everything relationship wise progressed very quickly. We were both skint and didnt have any "dates" as such. We would sit home watch films and get drunk quite often and maybe have a couple of nights out a month with work friends.

3 months after we got together we found out I was pregnat. We were both really happy about this and quickly moved in together. Even more skint at this point we "dated" even less.

DD was born and 6 weeks later we got married, and have had a lovely married relationship for almost 3 years now. We have had periods of time where things have felt stale but all in all things have been good.

DD2 is now 10 weeks old and our relationship feels very deflated. I dont feel that we comunicate very well at the moment and once the girls are in bed he sits watching tv/playing xbox etc and I sit on the internet. I know this is not healthy and we have agreed that from next week tuesday will be "date night"

the issue i have now is what the hell do we do on "date night"?

Please help me get my relationship back on track. I know i am still in love with dh but i just feel so distant from him right now physically and emotionally

Is money a problem?
Or the ideas? You could go for a little walk around your town or village, you could agree to find something nice and not false to say about each other.
You could go for a drive nad find a quiet spot but hey after 2 you might not want a third just yet

What do you want to do with him? You could just find a little bench and cuddle and remember what you found attractive in the first place.

Subscribe to any galleries/museums anything in your town to get you out. Hell you could even enrol on a college course together and learn something new.

Whatever you enjoy, be nice and enjoy it.

If money is an issue, picnics are a good one - get a load of yummy food together, some champagne if you can afford it (or sparkling wine even), and head out to a stately home or park or something. Sometimes it's just nice to spend time together without any distractions like tv.

Even a simple meal out like Pizza Express will mean you both have to sit together and talk, and will really help. Totally agree with PPs about making sure you are nice - don't save up annoyances to tell him off over. Think of a few ideas in advance to talk about. It might sound like conversation should flow naturally, but better to make the effort in advance than you sit there in silence while he is thinking about what's on Level 325 of Halo. A walk is also a good idea, to be together outside without the DCs will feel fantastic.

When DP was quite into the Xbox, we got some noddy games for it(because I am rubbish at them) and played them together. There was one with Starsky and Hutch where he did the driving and I did the shooting. You might want more of a change for date night, but this could help Xbox be a form of relaxation for both of you. Only beware of ones that are really hard to do because you'll both get frustrated!

Good luck

Hi
We have 'date nights' usually on a sat, we put some nice clothes on, play some music, have a nice meal, have a drink, we talk and have a laugh. It gives us something to look forward to and with money being a bit tight (im on maternity leave) its a cheap nite for us, plus it means we dont have to arrange for babysiters etc.

hi ladies thanks for the ideas, we have decided that tomorrow night we will cook together and have a bottle of wine maybe play cards or something see how it goes lol

some lovely ideas though love the idea of a college course its just being able to rely on a family member every week for baby sitting duties.

I also like the idea of a picnic although we very rarely have any day time's together with out the dd's

we did used to play xbox together sometimes, tomb raider or guitar hero, I think i've become a little boring recently so ill def make the effort and maybe have an xbox and party food night next week or something

When my children were little we used to find alternative comedy evenings really good. A lot of laughter and a couple of drinks always took us right outside the day to day problems - much better than sitting at a restaurant table staring at each other and not quite knowing what to talk about.

well we had our 1st date night last night and it wasnt too bad it was about 7.30 by the time dd's were in bed so we cooked something different that we havent had before and had some wine, by time we had eten and cleared up it was 9.30ish so we had a couple of games of cards as conversation had dried up a little then went to bed. all in all i went to bed feeling happier than i have in a long while.

we also came up with quite a few ideas for subsequent date nights. funds are tight this month but look much better from december so shold hopefully be able to alternate date nights in with date nights out from then