I don't know if this is the right place to post, but i need help with my friend.
Two years ago she had a baby with some problems, and in the time after she had PND and went on tablets. Her partner was pretty unsupportive, she blamed herself for the babys problems and he was no help.
Probably around 7 months ago he decided he no longer wanted to be with her, turned out he was having an affair with a work colleague who had children as well. He lived in the house after they split for a while, before leaving her after he had slept with her a few times and she had believed they would get past it all. Turned out he was still seeing this woman anyway.
We were all shocked, as he had previously been SO in love with her, so how it was for her i can't imagine. He stopped seeing their son and hasn't seen him in 6 months now.
He became a pig, i could hardly believe how he was to her, and i watched my fiesty funny friend be slowly ground down by him.
Now several months later its like the spark is gone out of her. She makes a good show of being ok, but has privately told me she feels life is over for her, she badly wanted a family and another baby and now she is 35 she feels that is all gone for her. She has told me that a lot of the time she could just sit and stare at the wall for days on end.
I think she still harbours hopes that he will come back, even after what he has done, she follows his girlfriends profile on FB and is always comparing her to herself, and trying to glean bits of information, she will text him "by mistake" just to try to get a response from him.
I hate him on her behalf, he treats her like the shit on his shoe, and can't be arsed with her basically, he's moved on and tough luck if she hasn't. Its like she has died in his eyes.
He blames her for it all, and i know she spends lots of time going over what happened, and blaming herself, even though HE had the affair, HE left, HE turned into a spiteful shit, HE was to blame.
I don't know how to help her, what to say or do. She's a great mum, and has held it together for her son really well, and i admire how she has got things back on track, but im worried for her, because its like something inside her has died. Altho they weren't loves young dream, she (and we) trusted him so so much, and he has taken over the last months every shred of trust she had, and her life and just smashed it to pieces in front of her.
What do you say to someone who thinks life is over, and who tortures themselves with thoughts of what their ex is doing with their new woman.
He "accidentally" sent a random text to her the other night, which was prob meant for his woman, which is a bit like a slap in the face for her, because she hopes a lot that they have split up.
I'd love to speak to his new woman and let her know what went on, but i think i could make it worse for her. I feel so angry for my friend, and what he's done to her, and i want to help her, but i don't know anymore what do