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Original poster

Girls and make-up...

19 replies

raggedyanne · 13/11/2009 19:57

DD is nearly twelve and allowed a little bit of makeup...mascara and only because she has begged me to catch up.I have just said definately no high heels(for a dance tonight) but am looked at like I am in the stone ages.Whats other Mums take on this,shall I just lighten up a little or stick to my guns and ask her to wait a few years?She is such a good girl and has always had a strong passion for fashion,she designs and makes her own so would always like to be able to encourage her interests but...I just dont know?

OP posts:
lilacclaire · 13/11/2009 20:06

Kittens and flats are the fashion anyway, what about a wedge?

Flats with leggings and a long top would be trendy enough?

blueywhite · 13/11/2009 20:08

She's your child and you need to decide what is acceptable to you in terms of boundaries.

My dd has played with make up since she was about 8, but didn't wear it outside the house until about 10.

She's now 11 and wears lip gloss and a smudge of nude eyshadow and paints her nails a subtle colour for a special occasions.

TBH I've tried to let her do what she wants but have guided her into what I think is just a gentle enhancing of her features.

Fortunately, natural make-up is the in thing!

I think you need to negotiate, but help her to be tasteful IYSWIM.

I wouldn't let dd have high heels from a safety POV. And no pierced earrings yet as I don't think she's mature enough to handle what's involved.

But there's no rights or wrongs, just what you feel comfortable letting dd do.

Original poster
raggedyanne · 13/11/2009 20:11

Thank you both for your insight,the heels she suggested are only tiny really and I would rather not ban her from anything ,gentle guidance is the key I guess,I might put that on my fridge!

OP posts:
thisxgirl · 14/11/2009 10:23

I started quite regularly wearing make-up from the age of 11 or 12, albeit clear mascara, tinted moisturiser and lipgloss. It was a very natural, barely-there look. My mum is into her make-up but I think I was mostly influenced by the young teenage magazines I'd started reading. I also started wearing chunky heels, maybe one or two inches high, and had my ears pierced at 12 - to the reluctance of my mother, who insisted I have it done in the sanitary environment of the doctor's and not a tattoo parlour.

Obviously, in an ideal world, little girls would be children for longer but you also don't want to alienate her from her peers or hold her back. All my friends wore similar make-up, shoes and everybody had their ears pierced. Actually, when I think about my Tammy Girl outfit for a friend's 12th birthday party, I remember I looked like a right little slapper and I have no idea why my mother allowed me to dress like that. In a way, I was a young adolescent experimenting with my image, testing the boundaries, exploring femininity. It was an important stage that needed to be experienced - it helped me to formulate my understanding of who I am and how I want the world to see me - so I would let your DD enjoy her interest in fashion and have a taster of what it's like to be feminine, just try to guide her into being as tasteful as possible!

Original poster
raggedyanne · 14/11/2009 13:00

Thank you Thisxgirl, that is actually a really nice idea,tinted moisturiser and lip gloss can go on the xmas list.I am also getting her her own cleansing products and some boots/next and claires vouchers so she can choose some of her own things.As a child I wasnt living with my parents and went off the rails quite a bit so my main priority is always making sure she knows she is loved 100% which means discipline Im afraid but we have a great relationship and she is quite on-to-it when it comes to makeovers etc..we have a lot of in-house ones which is fun!I also have three sisters who between them have a lot of very different fashion ideas...I hope she gets a little from all of us.

OP posts:
diddl · 14/11/2009 13:11

How high would she want the heels to be?

TBH, I think at that age they still look as if they are wearing their mother´s shoes if they have heels!

posieparker · 14/11/2009 13:15

No, to heels.... and no to anything other than light make up, like lipgloss/lip stick and mascara.

Short skirts, crop tops and anything too fleshy would get a firm no in this house.

Original poster
raggedyanne · 14/11/2009 13:19

They were very small polka dot jazz shoes diddl,but she left the house in black sneakers anyway due to the fact they would be much more comfy to dance in!And I agree totally,even teenagers look ridiculous at times!Im from the converse brigrade,and only wear flats for most occasions including work,dates with DH etc..

OP posts:
diddl · 14/11/2009 15:26

My daughter wants heels, but it´s a no so far.

She bikes everywhere, so ´for safety if nothing else!

Plus she is tall-I told her it´s he friends who ned the heels to catch up!!

(Im only jealous as I´m a shorty!)

MamaLazarou · 14/11/2009 15:46

At the age of 12, I home-bleached my hair and wore neon make-up, bra tops, micro-minis and stilettoes.

I am no position to judge.

I looked a state but came to no harm, if that helps.

castille · 14/11/2009 16:02

DD1 has just turned 12 and I have to be v strict on make-up. I will only let her wear invisible make up for school (concealer, clear mascara) but she wears eyeliner and mascara at weekends, which I get her to tone down if it's too overdone.

Clothes aren't too bad as although she and her friends are very fashion-consious, their tastes are quite conservative. She doesn't have or want any heels because they are all in ballet flats but I'm sure the issue will come up at some stage!

She does try to get away with things she knows aren't allowed - I have had to stand over her while she removes red nail varnish before I let her leave for school, and other more serious misdemeanors - so I have to keep a close eye on her in many respects because I worry that if I let things slide now it'll be awful later.

Bigsisandlittlebro · 14/11/2009 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

castille · 14/11/2009 17:23

How old are you bigsis?

JANEITEisntErudite · 14/11/2009 17:29

No to heels.

DD1 is 14 and wears make up. DD2 is 12 and does not. She does wear nail varnish though and I'd let her wear lipgloss if she asked. They are not allowed nail varnish at all for school.

I think the idea of some cleansing stuff for Christmas is an excellent one. How about some 'nice' shampoo and conditioner too?

BitOfFun · 14/11/2009 17:42

Bigsis is a lot older.

MissAnneElk · 14/11/2009 18:12

DD1 is 16 and doesn't wear any make up - but does like body moisturisers, nice shower gel etc. Her favourite shoes are converse.

DD2 is 13 and does wear make up, (mainly DD1s cast offs which have been bought for her but she has never used) but not to school. Also likes lush and body shop type toiletries. DD2 loves shoes and has numerous pairs, but no heels.

They were both allowed to have their ears peirced for their 13th birthdays.

So, my point is that they are all a bit different. If either of them were leaving the house looking like either clowns or slappers, then I'd put my foot down, but other than that I leave them to develop their own style.

Original poster
raggedyanne · 14/11/2009 19:58

Thanks guys so much for your replies,Im glad to know others are going through this too.
I love that it is so cold over here nine months of the year so she has to dress warmly!We are from another country where minis and bikini tops are fine for the main street!I think we'll stay over here until she is at least 21.

OP posts:
MumOfMadTwo · 15/11/2009 18:05

My DD is eight and we are a def no to high heels, makeup and skimpy clothing, where as her cousins (8 and 11) are the other extreme, wearing false nails the last time they visited and all the above, different strokes for different folkes. My dh and I think they are ready for a pagent and inwardly cringe...

SausageRocket · 15/11/2009 18:33

Oh God.

I am mother to a 7yo make up loving DD. She adores the stuff. She doesn't get it from me. Although I like make up and buy it, I don't actually wear much of it. I'm pretty minimal where slap is concerned, 90% of the time I don't wear it in the day (and when I do it is very 'nude').

She also LOVES 'high' heels (anything that isn't flat and makes the 'clickety' noise). She has a pair of silver Mary Janes with a small, chunky, 1in heel and a pair of black suede round toed boots again with a small chunky 1in heel. She is only permitted to wear them on 'special occasions' - parties, family get togethers etc (probably around once a fortnight). Same with the make up. She would love to wear it every day (she just loves the colours and the dressing up factor) but I don't feel that it is a) necessary or b) appropriate.

That said, I don't like the crop tops and 'babe' type mini slut clothing. We don't don't go to the other extreme of smocked dresses and knickerbockers either. DD mainly lives in skinny jeans and long sleeved tops.

TBH, a bit of bright make up applied by a child to a family party is not a problem to me. As for how I'll feel when she wants to wear Any Winehouse style slap daily, I'll let you know.

I pick my battles. I have 2 older kids, but both boys, so DD is my first experience of the whole make up/dress up thing.

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