I don't sit around doing nothing all day and I don't have the easy option - but why can't dh see this?

[Raggydoll]

I am otherwise very happy with my life but my dh is completly refusing to acknowledge my contribution to our family. I feel he doesn't appreciate me and when I told him this he didn't seem to think I do much to be appreciated. He on the other hand works a 60hr wk and does loads of DIY etc and consequently gets all sulky if I don't tell him how wonderful he is on a regular basis!

I do not sit at home all day doing nothing, I have 18mth ds and am 28wks pg. I work weekends to contrbute financially, do all the housework and garden, ds is happy & confident and has plenty of one to one attention - I also do all the finances and shopping not to mention the usual organising of both families birtdays, special occasions etc and xmas...

However I do not get up at 5.30am like dh and in his eyes I don't think he will ever think my contribution matches his...

I actually think I might ask for seperation.. am I overreacting or am I right to call it a day if he continues to refuse to admit I also deserve a little appreciation....

am just working on my list now...

lol at Custardo! Raggydoll, show him this thread!

Yeah, just copy and paste Custardo's post into word, and add it onto the invoice!

Show him this Raggydoll, or rather, do this!

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one
wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor,
a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that
something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys
strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel.
She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

Custardo - top advice love it. Sandyballs thats a great tale.
General question - where/how do men get this bizarre idea that just because a woman stays at home she is doing nothing?????????
Grrrrr, makes me so mad!!!

hahahaha sandyballs!

I love that Sandyballs

love that custardo, have just fw to my dp!

Bloody hell, can you imagine if everyone did that, what a revolution there would be in men's attitudes to housework and looking after kids?!

Wonderful Sandyballs!

Update - I wrote the list...

It was 4 pages of A4. On page 1/4 it was crammed with the daily jobs. Page 2/4 there was 2 columns, jobs done once or twice a wk and jobs done more than twice a week. Page 3/4 was stuff I do every mth/yr such as xmas, birthdays, doctors and dentists etc. Page 4/4 was my list of evidence that I do a good job eg; clean clothes, tidy house, well nourised confident happy ds...

I left him to read it in the car while I went in the shop ( I figured no distractions there ).

Result: Initially he thought I was trying to say I do more than him (god he can be sooo defensive) anyway explained I wrote list in respose to his lack of appreciation and some of the more insensitive comments made recently. He didn't argue (for once) and amazingly he hung the wet towels up after his shower and put his dirty washing in the basket... then he cooked dinner!! This gave me just enough time to scrape myself off the floor and have a nice long bath.

I've kept the list ... just in case dh forgets himself again.

Result!

Them constantly seeking praise is what gets me the most but it's in their genes. I watched a TV programme the other week and it went right back to cavedwelling times ...... the females bear the children, bring them up, gather nuts and berries to feed the whole tribe and keep them going for weeks on end. Occasionally the males, as hunters, catch a beastie and have to perform a sacred ritual in celebration of their efforts. Have things changed over time??? I think not.

WEll done. God, why do some men NEED this, they're not children ffs! Glad you got a result though.

Glad to hear it worked

LOL Pagan