I'll try keep this as short as possible.
Many years ago, when DH was 2, BIL (who is 15 years older, 17 at the time this happened) was accused of molesting a child whilst babysitting. It went to court, and all charges were dropped, the childs mother admitted she blew things out of proportion (can't go into details incase outed). BIL has been plagued with this since then, moved out of the area soon after as he was always getting abuse and beaten up, and when he visits, doesn't leave IL's house except to go home.
Because of this, DH has "problems" with boundries with our DC. He won't bath them when they are older than 2 years, won't change nappies from 1 and certainly won't take them into public toilets. Crunch came when we were out on Saturday at an extremely busy Halloween event, an DH wouldn't take Dneice to the mens toilet, even though there was no queue there and the queue for the ladies was long (we queued for 20 minutes).
I feel this is always hanging in the back of his mind, that because of what happened to his brother might happen to him. He is a very caring man, loves his DC, but is always weary of how much he kisses his kids, won't hol our oldest dcs hand when we're out, even though he is 6.
Is there any way he can get past this? I've tried talking to him, telling him that he isn't being judged off the back of his brother, but he just can't see it.