starting life from scratch

[BeginningAnew]

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I'd start with the singing lessons. Cos apart from anything else they will start to increase your confidence.

Going from living on the margins into the limelight can be terrifying at points - so much so you want to step back into the shadows. It does get easier the more you do it though.

As long as getting a job ASAP isn't financially a must, then I'd take the time to look around and choose the best one for you.

Also make a list of all the other things that you've ever wanted to do - from the tiny to the huge. Some won't be achievable, some will and some you may change your mind on. But it will give you some ideas to pick from.

It might help to imagine the person you've always wanted to be - what kind of things does that person do, or take part in?

Unwards and upwards and I hope everything is as fabulous as it can be.

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This may sounds stupid but one of the things that energises me and boost my confidence is running. Perhaps that could part of your fantastic new life!

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Oh I don't know about that. Sorry. Have to say mine isn't 100% - have to make sure I don't run with a full bladder

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I don't know where you live but I met a women last week who would do wonders for your pelvic floor, she lives in Kent. I am struggling to remember what she was telling me but I think she also said at her cottage hospital there was an incontinence counsellor/nurse specialist/something who is easy to book an appointment.

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Has an affair?

Risky, self-esteem boosting.

I am joking.....

Start a new business? Or take one of those jobs you get offered?

BTW I love this thread. It's so joyous. The very very best of luck to you. Hope your life is as good as you deserve.

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"My mother was a professional opera singer and always told me I was tone deaf and should shut up."

My parents were both opera singers and it was my mum who told me I was tone deaf too and that I couldn't sing.

Fast forward to about 5 years ago and I was singing with DS and she then turned around and said that I had a really good range. Oh, only about 30 years too late.....

You take those singing lessons and feel good about it.

i definitely second your singing lessons thing: start with one-to-one singing lessons to build confidence in your own ability then join a choir (a church choir or a local choral society : look at www.choirs.org.uk for one in your area.
This'll help to build your confidence socializing and working as a team (one thing they'll look for when you go for a job); plus it'll help with anything you might need to do in your job (talking to other people, doing presentations etc)

and do get driving lessons too: again, it's a fantastic confidence booster (it worked for my mum who'd always believed she was completely useless at everything then forced herself to learn to drive at 40 and she completeyl changed into a new woman: she just felt really independent because she could rely on herself to go anywhere and do anything)

at lamppost man!

This thread has made me feel realy happy....you go girl..It is all out there for you

When you look at other people and judge how much you respect them, what qualities about them, or achievements, make you respect them and like them? You could list those things and then think of ways to become more like that ideal person?

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Heehee, I haven't worked out who you used to be yet, I'm thinking about it

Don't be hard on yourself, you sound so strong and like you have been through so much! Could you feel better by 'reframing' your own qualities so that they seem more 'cool' to you? Eg. You have been through a lot and you are a Survivor and have been Strong enough to pull yourself out of a 'pit' and decide to not let crap people break your Inner Spirit. Your Inner Spirit is now breaking through and you are finding your true self. I think you find your true self by doing more of the things that you enjoy (or finding things you enjoy if you don't know what those things are already) and living up to the moral standards you look for in others. As you become more enthusiastic about living because you are enjoying yourself more, this will come across to people as a positive energy, and the more you interact in a positive way, the more confident you will become.

I know what you mean about your DH, I think it is less about looks than lots of people think and more about mannerisms and ways. Have you ever been out and seen how some women aren't spectacular looking but seem to be chatted up by men more than the other women, even women more physically attractive than them? And have you ever thought a man was quite attractive, then when you heard him speak and saw his facial expressions etc when he talked it put you right off him?

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Loads of different stuff. Muse, Green Day, Clash, Arcade Fire, Vaughan Williams, Black-eyed peas, Bach, Mozart, Schubert..... bit of a music tart really.

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Funnily enough I rarely listened to anything modern for many many years after the age of about 17. But that was my choice. I preferred classical and found pop music insanely irritating! SOme of it I still do but generally I am more open to all types of music. Give Muse a go first - I'm a new convert and I love it!

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Actually music can be a really big key - it sort of accesses the bits of your brain that get locked away as you get older.

Try Imogen Heap, her latest album is brilliant.

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