I'm in such a strange marriage. It's an emotionally abusive one. I'm a SAHM at the mo and DH is self employed.
On the surface and to everybody else in the outside world my DH is fantastic - he is really popular and well thought of, he has great people skills and is very considerate of others - he has lots and lots of friends and good friends from way back from when he was 3 (he's 36) his mother thinks the sun shines out of his arse - my parents love him - he is a brilliant Dad.
He took the plunge into self employment 5 years ago ((which signalled the start of our problems)) - and financially things were very rocky and still are but it looks like he's going to do well in the end and I have worried and been proud in equal measure of what he's achieving and how hard he actually works (all week, late at night, dragging himself in at weekends when all he really wants to do is spend time with his kids)
But.....to quote Peter Andre(!) Behind closed doors things are very different where I am concerned. He is very very moody and up and down. He criticizes nearly everything I do (and I find myself striving to please him), he makes me feel like a bungling idiot half the time - it hurts so much how we can have a great couple of days getting on great, laughing and happy and then things can change so dramatically over nothing to him treating me like I am the most hateful, vile creature. Weeks of silent treatment can ensue (the longest was 9 weeks) He can be very very cruel in the things he says.
An recent example would be the crime of being slightly disorganised and a couple of messy kitchen cupboards can make him explode if he can't find something he's looking for and then he won't speak to me for a week or so.
He basically takes all his stress out on me.
What's kept us together all this time (apart from the fact that financially we cannot split at the moment) is that we have the same sense of humour - we have had so many great times over the years and have been very close at one stage but for a long time now I find myself plotting my escape in a year or so when finances pick up and living a life without being turned on and criticized constantly.
But then I look at how much my dc adore him and wonder how can I do that to them? if it did happen and we split I know he would want to see the kids as much as me and with family support around maybe the damage wouldn't be so bad.