Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Do I just give up and walk away

28 replies

destroyed · 30/10/2009 09:19

DH and I been having problems for a few years. He doesnt want to have sex with me anymore, there is no physical or intimate contact at all. Apparently this is because he was badly neglected when DC were small, I suffered with PND and did'nt, could'nt respond to his sexual advances. I have spoken to him about this on numerous occasions and basically the matter has never been resolved. Do I give up and move on? We have DC and been married a long long time. Still love him but he seems content to plod on as is, knowing I am hurting, but basically lives to work and works to live IYSWIM. Great father but does'nt devote any time to me at all. I would do anything to keep our marriage alive, he wont go to counselling.

OP posts:
WhenwillIfeelnormal · 30/10/2009 21:16

Hmmm...

In that case, have a read through this thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/837560-How-to-make-DH-accept-his-words-are-hurting-me

and ignore all the stuff about china and with-holding money for household goods, which in my view were red herrings - and go to the real issues that were exposed down-thread.

Suspect the advice on this thread will be very similar to what you'll get here.

ABatDead · 30/10/2009 21:40

Three years is a long time to be rejected for. No matter what the circumstances, I am really not sure I could have lived with that. I think he may have decided to stay together for the sake of DC.

The truth is that when a woman rejects a man repeatedly he logically concludes she does not love him and he feels hurt if that woman previously did want him sexually. Male logic, but there you are.

You have a logical conclusion in your head that it was not your fault and you had no choice but he has a logical conclusion he is never going to feel hurt and rejected again by you.

However, it seem she has not completely stuck to his vow as you do still have occassional sex so there seems to still be some hope?

Original poster
destroyed · 31/10/2009 11:37

Thank you ABatDead, I see. We are so different in our thinking arent we. I instigated a big talk last night which I think has cleared the air enormously. I feel more positive so thanks everyone.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page