Can I ask a question about affairs?

[snafu]

Slightly concerned about posting this but I am curious. Is there anyone out there in MNland who is currently in a happy and successful relationship with someone that they actually left their previous partner for? i.e. did you have an affair that ended your marriage and then became a 'kosher' relationship, iyswim?

I'm not being judgemental at all or, for that matter, trying to justify 'bad behaviour'. I am just genuinely curious (some may say nosy ) given a couple of recent threads about affairs and their impact. I hope no-one's going to get offended by this. I guess I'm just wondering how often affairs do actually turn out to be 'the real thing'.

has you dad never felt angry or bitter thomcat?

When I met DH I was in a long-term relationship (6-7 years) and he and exP (my first 'love') overlapped for about 5 months.
During that time I was just too much of a wimp to finish with exP - I'd finished with him once before for someone else who had pursued me for ages but then dumped me after a month.
Eventually DH said that he couldn't bear sharing me so I had to choose between them. The best decision I've ever made. In hindsight my previous relationship was self-destructive - amongst other things he was over dependent on me and made me unhappy. DH is my soul mate and I can't believe I nearly gave him up for such a loser.
I'm certainly not proud for being unfaithful, as I'm actually quite an honest and open person (no, really I am) but it did work out for me.

Fio - oh yeah,m he was horrid for a while. he didn't tell anyone for ages either and still took 3 pints of mile a day and ended up pouring them down sink when he got sick of drinking that much milk every day! He eventually admitted it to milkie who ended up coming in for a cup of tea (although a milkshake would have been better) and they discussed their wivces leaving them.
but my dad got over it and started really, really enjoying his life, met women, met loads actually and is now very content and great friends with my mum. not sure he'll ever be great friends with my stepfather but hey ho.

I was in long term relationship when I met DH (he was single). The 2 relationships overlapped by about 4 months. I left ex for my now DH and we're very happy.

That said, I would never take the risk again. It was horribly destructive thing I did. I hurt my ex beyond belief and I still feel searing guilt over 4 years on. Also I have much more to ;lose' this time around. I had no kids with my ex, we weren't married. The only thing we had was a joint mortgage which was easily resolved (I signed it all over to him).

Thanks everyone. Very interesting posts! One of my closest friends left her husband for a man she met at work who was also married, and had two kids. The affair had begun when she'd only been married a few months and I gave her quite a hard time over it, particularly as her then-dh was also a friend of mine.

However, she is still with this guy now, almost three years later and says she's never known love/happiness like it but she also has massive trust/confidence issues with him. I've never met him.

Nothing is cut-and-dried, is it? But it's nice to see that there are lots of happy endings too.