Hi, remember that thread I started a while back about that bloke who worked in the game shop??

[FluffySaysTheDailyMailsShite]

Threw himself at me, I was unsure what was going on so I started a thread, which I then deleated as it had alot of info on it....

just to let you know that he did the 'lets be friends' talk a couple of weeks ago, I'm still confused as he flirts and still talks almost every night. I joined a dating site when he said the 'lets be friends' thing but I'm not 100% sure that this is the right thing to do as we have so much in common and are really good together. What should I do? Suggestions welcome.

Hi I remember

Sounds like hes keeping you 'hanging' so if I were you I would carry on with life and just think of yourself as single, date other men ect.

I know you really like him and he might come over as really nice, but I just think he wont treat you ever so well as he seems to think hes better than you (which is obv SH*T!!!)
Sorry if thats not what you wanted to hear.

It's OK. It was nice, whilst it lasted. It's odd, he's still really attentive, offered to take ds and I home with him so we can see some real snow (we don't get alot here). It's been a few weeks since we had the 'friends' chat, he has changed alot since then but I'm not sure now. Life goes on though, we talk nearly every night, I've decided not to tonight and see what happens, he went away last week for a few days (work), he sent me a text on the first night, nothing special though. Ah well!

I would take him at his word and abandon the idea of him as a romantic prospect. He is a timewaster wanting an ego boost. Sorry, but you are worth more than being somebody's fallback.

Thanks. I did give up, the signals he gives are not the friends ones though so I'm getting confused. I'm just not sure what he's after. He's full of compliments, helpful etc. It's never easy hey!!

I think your right not chatting with him tonight.
Maybe still be friends but cool it down a touch. Not be so available (easier said than done when you have to be home in the eve with DC!!)
Just more MN and other friends.

I just want an easy life!! ARGH!!

I have to go and see him tomorrow anyway, I'll say I went out. He won't know, none of his business anyway! He's a nice bloke though, had a really bad relationship a few years ago that has crushed his faith in people, it's sad really. I'm not sure if this is what's holding him back, ah well.

His issues aren't your problem though- if he was madly in love or even properly interested, he would be moving heaven and earth to make it happen. Honestly, people do.

Just get on with your own thing and good luck with it- more fool him if he's missed his window

Thankyou.

personally I always think men want what they can't have. Is there anyone else that you could have a 'thing' with....to pique this bloke's interest?

Plus if he isn't interested then it will take your mind off it .

It might concentrate his mind about what he DOES want.

Just an idea.

I like your thinking!! I had to go and see him today to take him something, he was the usual flirty, one of the customers has invited me to the cinema tomorrow with some of the staff, he's not sure if he's going yet. I'm just going to have fun regardless, I can't be done with all this dating malarky at the moment.

Well, cinema night was a nightmare, I can see now why he's so unhappy. We ended up in the pub instead with the staff and both sat and watched them get drunk and make fools of themselves.

look, this guy is just not that into you. your best bet is to see other guys and have a good time. at worst he still won't be interested but at least you'll be meeting other people. at best, he'll realize that you really are rather a catch, by which time you'll probably realize you've found someone better.

you can't fix him or magically heal his faith in people. you could bend over backwards trying, but it will never be enough and you'll be unhappy.

let this one go. don't waste more time on him and get on that dating website!

I'm on the dating site!!
I've decided to give him a little time and see what happens, he's been really nice again today, making plans of things we can do together, attentive etc. I don't know.

I warn you I'm in a blunt mood....

You asked what to do and several people have advised to forget about him and move on. HE has even told you that.

But you 'don't know what to do'?

That way heartache lies.... you can't say you haven't been warned.

Make room in your life and make room in your headspace for someone else. While he is in it, you won't meet other men, one of which could be perfect for you. And perfectly INTO you.

Blunt's OK. Thankyou. I'm going to follow my instincts though, just for a couple of months. I'm not too attached to him, I just like him. If I find myself getting too attached I'll back off, I can still look around in the mean time.