I have namechanged due to the nature of this post - need a little privacy until things are clearer in my head. I have been watching several thread re. alcohol abusing partners recently and, as many posters say, have shocking deja vu reading through the details of a life with an alcoholic DP.
I'm not sure what to do at the moment - I have had years of bad behaviour from DP which peaked about 18 months ago when I told him I wanted to separate. It shocked him enough to go to an AA meeting and then he started, and completed, a telephone counselling course. He was sober for about 6 months and then started drinking alcohol-free beer, then 'just one' beer and you can guess the route from there.
Like many others, he is very much a functioning alcoholic and his consumption (that I know of) is currently quite low - max 4 cans of strong lager a night, not every night. But recently he had a bingey week with the usualy excuses (old friends in town, stress at work etc) culminating in him drinking beer and wine at home then smoking a spliff, coming to bed and puking in our wastepaper basket (nice).
After that I said again that if he didn't stop drinking permanently I wanted to split up. He said he doesn't think that's necessary and since then has been a pillar of pious good behaviour. But I think it's too late - I certainly don't trust him any more, and really don't like him when he's been near the booze. He is a master of passive aggression so will not make any moves himself, just react to mine. There are the usual reasons I don't want to make the final decision (3 DCs, 15 years together, lots of fond, fun memories, life is good when he doesn't drink etc), but how can I make the decision and know it's the right one?
I would really appreciate some advice particularly from those who have been/are going through similar.
Sorry this is long!