Can i have your opinions?

[WellWhatDoISayToThat]

Regular who has namechanged.

DD was just sick on the carpet. DH was dealing with DD, and I was cleaning the carpet and sorting out the washing.

DH throws his shirt on floor which has sick on it. I say "oh don't throw your sick covered shirt on the floor".

DH says to DD "your mummy is useless".

He is usually lovely.

Can I have your opinions on this?

bad day? speak to him later

How was it said?

Was also just told that it was because I was "being nippy"

It was said to DD, not me, and in a serious and nasty quiet voice.

I have also been feeling low recently and have health problems, which makes it a bit more nasty, I think.

if this is out of character you need to talk to him and find out what's going on, don't you?

It's mostly out of character although probably every week he gets into a bad mood and says stuff like this.

so he isn't 100% lovely normally then. I'm not surprised you're feeling low, sounds like he is taking out whatever frustrations he has at work, whatever on you
don't like it he is calling you useless
have you tried telling him how it makes you feel (at a time when he is in a better mood)? how would he react if you spoke to him that way?
don't like him using your dd either

It's very odd, it is like he is lovely all week then at regular intervals he speaks to me in this abusive manner

Feels like not enough to leave for but don't want to always have to live with it

So is there a pattern to it? Fridays? work stress?
have you tried telling him how you feel?

He was stressed, it is never easy cleaning up a sicky child.

What he probably meant was "that's not the most helpful comment you could have given me right now"

And he probavbly didn't mean it. Talk to him.

He was, and I just got a grudging apology. I suppose it's just happening a bit often and I just feel it crosses a line.

Thanks for the opinions...it helps...

ninah - It's basically just when he is tired, but has happened pretty much every Friday/Saturday since we met (10 years ago).

Bit pedantic,but did he throw his shirt on the carpet you were cleaning,or towards the washing you were sorting?

apology from a man? blimey grudging or not that's like getting the Nobel Peace Prize
could you book a babysitter and have a night out to look forward to - sounds like you both need a break

Diddl - he threw it on the carpet which i had just cleaned, I had already taken the washing away.

ninah - yes, we do.

Am still not comfortable with him saying stuff to my DD about me though.

That´s not good.
And how does that make you useless?

Íf he´d thrown it in the general direction ofwashing you were sorting,I might have let himoff!
But still not excused the useless comment

And saying it to your child

It was just a dig and was him saying what hurts me the most.

I know, that's not on
when you are both more relaxed, tell him - no remarks to dd
if we lone parents can control the urge to make such comments he should certainly be able to do so. Bad form
but on the bright side, he's apologised - and it's the weekend!

ninah - you are obviously a lovely sunny positive person! (unlike moi!)