If SIL did this deliberately she's being horrid (again) if it was a mistake...

[deliberate]

We had Dinner at SIL's last night to celebrate her (&DH's) father's birthday.

She's a good cook and had made a lovely looking chocolate torte. Although as soon as I'd told her how it delicious it looked, she announces I can't have any because it contains partially cook eggs (am 33 weeks pregnant)

Left to myself I'd have probably had some anyway TBH, but as I now had all my IL's agreeing that I would be putting the future grandchild in danger if I did, I had some of the fruit salad she'd made specially for me.

I then had to listen to everyone telling me how good it was and how thoughtful she was to have made something special for me.

Is it wrong of me to think thoughtful would be making something I could have in the first place? Not FIL's favourite BTW, that would be a Bird's Trifle, but she won't have that on her table!

Well if she was trying to make a pudding she thought the birthday boy would like then your being pregnant might have just put a spanner in the works to her plans. So she decided to do it anyway but make you an alternative (although I would have given you something a bit more indulgent that fruit salad given everyone else was eating chocolate).

I think it's up to you what you eat when you're pregnant though and it's no one else's business what you eat (unless you're the dad of said baby). I didn't eat raw eggs when I was pregnant because I know someone who got salmonella and miscarried but I would defend your right to eat them if you wanted to!

there is so little risk from uncooked eggs since the start of salmonella vaccinations that In My Opinion the advice against partially cooked eggs is out of date.

I ate undercooked eggs, but I had precious few pleasures in my life while I was pregnant, had a shit job, an abusive relationship and galloping prenatal depression. A dippy egg was a drop in the ocean.

I cant eat chocolate or cheese ever, which gets really annoying, but i would never expect anyone to go without a certain pudding/meal for me, i would of been grateful for the fruit salad, its better than nothing

Thanks for all your views, of course there's more to it, she's my SIL....

I was very grateful and polite, but even that back fired on me. I (tried to) joked that I'd much prefer the fruit salad as I didn't want to spoil my figure (which obviously at 33 weeks is beyond hope FTB) but that was taken as a deliberate dig at her and MIL, who do both carry a few extra pounds.

Like I said at the start if it was a mistake and she realised at the last minute I couldn't have it, of course she was being lovely to make something special, but the glint in her eye when she announced I couldn't have it suggested otherwise I'm afraid. She's master of the passive aggressive favour or compliment.

RE my having eggs, I would have preferred to make the choice myself, did avoid them for first 16 weeks or so, but at 33 weeks risk is passed, especially with our inoculated chickens.