I have been offered quite a big promotion at work. It will mean a lot more money but also more responsibility so probably more hours and everything that comes with that. I am the breadwinner (though both dh and I work) so financially, it will be a huge help to us.
Except I haven't gone back and said yes yet. And although I have some work concerns, a large part of this is because of the relationship between dh and me.
- He snores, dreadfully, to the extent that I cannot get a good night's sleep. This affects my ability to work and although it may sound ridiculous, I'm not sure I can handle such a high powered, stressful job when I'm only getting a few hours sleep a night (this affects my health too - I didn't realise to what extent as dh went away a few months ago for a whole month and within a week of him going away, I was getting a full 7 hours sleep a night and a lot of the health issues I have (like headaches) cleared up totally).
- He is excited about the promotion because of the money. I can tell he has not even thought about the additional stress it will bring. I spelt this out to him this weekend but I could tell he had a glazed eye look when I was telling him about the money. I am not motivated by money - well I am to the extent it clears my bills. To be honest, anything after that is a bonus, I'd rather have an easy life iyswim.
- He keeps saying he wants to give up his job and do some work from home (we have done the calculations and if he put some effort into it, because we'd be cutting our childcare cost out, we could virtually be in the same cash position as we are now but with a happier family) but despite him talking about this all the time, he never executes the plan. His job involves a lot of travel, working on weekends and very long hours, despite him getting paid far less and I am always having to compromise with my job for his. If I took this promotion, I believe this will cause issues but he won't even think about this. He just says 'oh we'll handle it'.
- He is supposed to do one or two pick ups/drop offs from school a week (his work schedule allows it) but he often calls me asking me what to do. When the children are ill, he sends them in (for example, today dd has said she is ill and he has just dragged her to school screaming about having an earache - she did have one last night tbh - he has just called me up and said 'I can't do this any more. This is just too stressful'. Why he didn't just call the nanny and get her to come early so that dd could stay at home, I don't know! And this adds to my stress because he calls me at work and moans about it!).
I know this might sound petty but I haven't accepted the promotion and I only have another week to say yes. But until I can sort out these issues at home, I can't get anywhere. How do I start tackling these issues?