This is my first post although have been lurking for a while using everyone's advice on other threads to try to sort my life out. I know what I am doing is the right thing to do for the time being but shit, it is so hard.
Basically found out my p was having an affair a few weeks ago, he made noises about wanting us to continue, but I ended things immediately. We have baby dts and I could not believe that he would have done this to them let alone me. Plus he has been absolutely crap with them and horrid to me since they were born and I have done practically everything myself whilst he moans about doing anything and has wanted to keep living his pre-kids life. I can't bring myself to write down some of the awful things he said/did before I discovered the affair. It is all so humiliating.
There is no chance that I want any kind of reconciliation. The problem is that the house is his and since he realised that I would not give him another chance he has turned into a monster and has been trying to chuck us out as he wants his 'space.' I am a SAHM, so have no finanicial security. I have had to put up with loads of verbal abuse and him screaming in my face once babies in bed. He says he never wanted the kids (they were planned and much discusssed btw), regrets having them. Also, says our relationship, has been crap for years so my fault that he has had affair etc etc.
I have sought legal action and the lawyer says I must try to stay in the house for the moment but that is my problem. Those of you who have done this in similar circumstances, how did you manage? I have to watch him swanning off on dates with the OW one minute and have him screaming at me the next. Then he does quite frankly bizarre things like trying to get into bed with me and cuddle me!!!!! Is he nuts???? I hate him. Just looking at him makes me feel sick but so that the atmosphere is not awful for babies I have to get through the days by being civil and trying not to loose it.
I feel like I am going to crack this morning having had to hear him on the phone being all charming to the OW and then rushing off to meet her drowned in aftershave.
Sorry I am going on but my head is a mess with trying to work out mine and the babies future. Feel so gutted for them and to have given tham such an horrendous dad. Feel ridiculous for not seeing this coming and realising his capacity for awfulness.
Not sure that I should even be posting on here as what if he reads it? Thanks for taking the time to read this. I just wish that I didn't sound so pathetic. Pre-babies I would have left the second I found everything out but now I am trapped as as just want to do the right thing for dts...