what should i do? leave it alone or stick w/ my morals?

[haven]

make a very very long story short. MIL hates me and doesn't like my daughter. we haven't (my dh does) spoke to her in over a year. she sent bad letters about me to ds ped. and made my dd leave her home.(8 years old)
delimma. i am starting college in aug. MIL and FIL have alot of green. dh said they should pay for it because of other tax reason(trust don't alow us to qualify for gov. help) I don't want her money to pay for anything. i don't want anything to do with her. i don't want to fight with dh, but taking her money to pay for school goes against everything i believe in. kinda like saying this is my price. it may sound petty, but MIL has been the center of all dh and i problems since day one. she always thought i wanted money, as that is NOT who i am about. i am the kind of person that believes in GOD. not holly roll'n but i believe that greediness makes you a bad person. i am a independent person, i like to do things on my own, that way i feel great when it is done. I DID IT. dh hates that about me, should i stick like glue to what i believe or give in and save an arguement...as dh will just freak out. he doesn't understand, he is a hard worker, but never ever did without anything so do do without is just crazy to him.

Hi Haven,

Would suggest you speak with an accountant; I am wondering if the argument your DH is giving you is actually correct. I feel you need proper financial advice from your own standpoint. I would also suggest you speak with the student loan company.

You personally should come first - he married you and his primary loyalty should be to you. It's high time he (along with her immediate family members) stood up to this woman and say, "that's enough!!". The controlling issues that she certainly has are seeping into your lives with the resulting chaos such actions cause.

haven, thanks for responding. i think it is your phraseology which gave me a clue. good luck with solving this dilemma.

Haven, I used to deal with federal student loans in my old job. You really need to see a Financial Aid Officer at the college you wish to study at or similar. Your tax forms should not be going through your MIL. Having dealt with students with around $300k debt and the tough repayment terms I can understand why your DH is reluctant to go down this road but I second everyone else and say that taking money from MIL is bad news!

It sounds as if the laws about trusts are very differnt in the US; if it is DH's money aren't there trustees you can approach to release funds for college?

yes, the money would be coming from the trust, but technically it is their money. it is an awkward sitituation.