Is this love that i'm feeling? Or what?

[GorgeousMumOfTwo]

Sometimes when i'm with DH, i have this choking feeling of sadness i can't explain. For instance,my brother was here earlier and while we chatted dh and i couldn't stop looking at eachother and i could hardly wait for dear bro to leave. But as soon as we were alone, i started to have this extreme feeling of sadness mixed with something... i felt like crying. Then we had some intimacy,i enjoyed it, but the feeling was still there. And then i feel like leaving the r/ship because i can't bear the feeling. It's like i feel like it's going to end or he'll disappoint me someday.. . Please help me understand this. We've been married 3 years now with 2 dcs. Is this what love feels like?

Does something you have got now with your DH remind you of something that you didn't have, which was painful not to have, in the past eg proper connections with your family?

Are you then scared to lose it and feel the sadness from the past again?

Did you experience loss in the past and the thought of losing someone/something else that you love is frightening?

These are just 'stabs in the dark' really.

Are there common things which normally trigger these feelings in you?

My father abandoned us when i was quite young and my mother raised us and did everything for us. I love my father very much and his absence in my life hurt me very much. When i was younger i would call him and not be able to talk but just cry over the phone.

My husband has the tendency of doing to me what my father did to us.

Nothing else triggers these feelings.