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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Invited to surprise birthday party for someone I think hates me - should I go?

11 replies

Crusher · 30/09/2009 12:09

I'm in a really dilemma and can't decide what to do for the best. I've been invited to a surprise birthday party for someone who I don't think likes me very much. It seems churlish to decline the invitation but it might be easier not to go. Grateful for any advice on this.

OP posts:
GooseyLoosey · 30/09/2009 12:11

Is it going to be a huge party? If so, I think you can safely give it a miss.

If a small party, is the person who invited you likely to know the realy feelings of the other person towards you? You could just be wrong about how they feel. However, if you are sure that they hate you, I would politely decline asap and say you had already arranged something else as the evening would be God awful.

Geocentric · 30/09/2009 12:12

Give it a miss. That's what little white lies are for...

diddl · 30/09/2009 12:14

I´d be tempted to not go.
If it´s a surprise, the invitation isn´t from them & they might not want you there.

The person who invited you-would they know if the other person likes you or not?

Crusher · 30/09/2009 13:14

I was invited by a relative of the person who's birthday it is (lets call her X) who would be totally unaware of how X feels about me. Of course, I could be wrong about how they feel but little things over the last few months suggest that I've been excluded when X has arranged nights out, etc, Whether this is deliberate or an oversight I don't know.

I see X at the school gates everyday and I always feel a bit awkward but I could be just oversensitive.

OP posts:
Geocentric · 30/09/2009 13:35

Ah, so the plot thickens...
Maybe you should go, after all. It could be that the whole thing is a big misunderstanding between you and X???

Crusher · 30/09/2009 13:47

Yes it could be a total misunderstanding, and politically it might be a good idea to go (sorry if this makes me sound expedient). If I didn't go it might cause a bigger rift between us, possibly more difficult to bridge later. I wouldn't want to be on bad terms with her, real or imagined.

OP posts:
Rubyrubyruby · 30/09/2009 13:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl · 30/09/2009 13:58

If there´s someone going who you get on with, I would go.

hullygully · 30/09/2009 13:59

Go and challenge her in the middle of the party. That will liven it up. Tell her you want to see her outside, now.

Crusher · 30/09/2009 14:04

Thanks hullygully, your comment just make me laugh out loud. Perhaps what I'm really worried about is that after a few vinos I might say something that I might regret later. And she's bigger than me!

OP posts:
mamas12 · 30/09/2009 22:18

If you don't like her, Go! it would piss her off.

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