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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DRIVING WITH MY HUBBY

13 replies

sparky68 · 29/09/2009 18:37

hi all,

i past my driving test nearly a yr ago, but only just got my car about 4 months ago, , my hubby been driving 4 ever and i get so nervous when his in the car, he trys to help but he either states " you past your test now you should not do that " its not that i do anything major just i dont drive like him, i worry what other people think of me driving is this a "WOMEN THING" like he says, my confidence is growing the more i go out , i brought green plates but dont have them on the car as hubby says people will be more abusive towards me, i just wondered if anyone else felt like this when first past and parking omg i worry about that, and if anyones else"s hubby or partner made them feel the same.Just a light hearted thread .

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 29/09/2009 18:43

Bring a little painters tape with you and stick it across his mouth in a lighthearted way next time you go out together in your car.

BlingLoving · 29/09/2009 18:44

Answer, "aaah, but now that I've got my test, i can do it all my way... EVIL LAUGH."

Some men (and women ) find it hard not to comment on other people's driving. Either laugh it or or tell him firmly to stop. If you are up for it, feel free to say outrageous things, "So you won't like it if I do this then... " or "If you think this is bad you should have seen the look on that women's face when we played chicken last week. She only had a baby stroller so clearly I won" etc etc.

freename · 29/09/2009 19:03

Suggest he at least try to think back to when he first learned. Even when you pass it takes time to build up confidence and a driving style. I'm sure he wasn't born with it. I agree with him on the green plates. Don't use those it's just asking for unwanted attention.
My hubby used to do similar and I used to say yes but you didn't have a theory test and actually the practical test has changed considerably in recent years. Nowadays they are far more strict about small mistakes such as how often you look in the mirror. Minor things like that can now add up enough to fail you even if technically you haven't done anything wrong. He's probably got loads of bad habits that an examiner wouldn't like now. He probably is much better than me but the kids actually prefer my driving because I don't rush or get as agitated as he does and they tell him as much!
Parking is really just about practice. Even now (I have been driving 10 years) I have days when I can park in one go and other days when I am in and out of a space a few times before it's right. I STILL hate those narrow spaces in shopping malls with pillars/parked cars too close if I am trying to reverse in.
Remind him it is about confidence and picking at you constantly isn't supportive so zip up and be patient.

sparky68 · 29/09/2009 20:52

thanks all feel better already xx

OP posts:
HecatesTwopenceworth · 30/09/2009 07:27

Oh yes, my husband is always giving me helpful tips and advice.

I tell him to shut up, or walk home, or I offer to pull over and let him drive.

And then he says how he's been driving for 20 odd years and he is only trying to help.

And I say I don't care, he's annoying. I have a licence. And again, shut up, walk or drive himself!

And he shuts up.

A couple of times I have pulled over, got out of the car and said, "right, since I can do no right - you drive" and made him take over.

There's a chance I may have a bit of an attitude

However. ahem. in a spectacular display of double standards. when he is driving, I tell him to slow down and that he is too close to vehicles in front etc. He then says how long he has been driving and that I only passed my test a year ago. To which I reply that the 2 second rule is the 2 second rule and the law of physics doesn't change for those with over 20 years driving experience.

That goes down like a shit sandwich.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 30/09/2009 07:41

Yes DH is a dreadful backseat driver. I used to get annoyed but now I just say loudly and firmly 'I am driving, not you' and repeat as necessary. He usually gets the message.
Your confidence will improve I promise. I have had a car for 18 months now and have improved massively, I can now reverse park DH's 5 metre long van

freename · 30/09/2009 11:14

It also takes time to get used to a new car. Just changed mine recently and it feels weird because indicators are on the other side etc and I keep switching my wipers on when I want to turn

morningpaper · 30/09/2009 11:16

This is REALLY common

I can't BEAR driving with DH and find myself driving into bollards because I'm sure he is expecting me to...

TBH though - I imagine this is how most new dads feel when they are changing nappies with their partners hovering in the background

MrsBadger · 30/09/2009 11:32

yes yes re nappies

a new dad Doing The Bath must feel exactly like this

sparky68 · 30/09/2009 17:08

Thanks to you all for your stories and comments, i reversed onto my drive today , told hubby to shut up when i was driving him to work !! or he can walk , i wont use green plates as i think they will draw to much unwanted attention so agree with him , it must be a man thing and you have all made me feel better knowing its just not me.

lol , to changing nappies and baths we do things that they feel nervous about too.

thanks again

OP posts:
twigsblankets · 01/10/2009 12:40

freename I laughed so much when I read your post, because I've just bought a car where the indicators/windscreen wipers are on the oppositte side that I'm used to.

The other day, I started driving down my road and a bird pooped on my windscreen. At the same time, there was a car coming in opp direction, but it was my right of way. He had enough room to pull around the car on his side, but lo and behold, I flashed my lights instead of squirting my windscreen.

The other driver thanked me, and I was wondering why, hahahahahahaha. It made me laugh for most of my journey.

freename · 01/10/2009 13:41

We once had a hire car with a trigger happy hooter on the steering wheel and it would go off randomly. Luckily DH was driving and although he was being very careful not to put any pressure on it, it just kept happening without warning. It got to the point when it went off he would wave dementedly at the nearest car as if he recognised the driver who in turn would look at DH like 'do I know you....no I don't..you're a nutter'. Meanwhile I would be peeling myself off the floor in hysterics. So funny.

twigsblankets · 01/10/2009 15:50

freename That almost made me choke on my cuppa.

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